Tonight as I lie awake wondering what can I do to while putting joanna sweetheart to sleep in the wee hours of the morning, I came up with this idea of creating a blog for her. So much for creative parenting. Check it out.
http://joanna3117.blogspot.com/
Friday, December 28, 2007
Thursday, December 27, 2007
Women are from Venus and Mars...
I thought I knew women. yes, esp the one at home
Sigh... I must admit, perhaps it was the flu bug or perhaps the knock-out over Christmas, I was not at all feeling well the past week. Physically, emotionally, etc. I knew SHE was upset with me. The fact that I knew she was upset that I am not much a help, especially when joanna cries at night or when my wife needs a good rub. I knew that I wanted to be there for her but its just that I am a dead log when I sleeep. God forgive me. On Christmas afternoon, after a long 4 hours sleep (yes, as all good men would blame it on the drowsiness of the pill) we got into a small argument. She was sobbing as she felt just so disappointed. I sure was afraid that she may conveniently transit into PNB- figure that out on ur own. The last B- is a colour!
And out she uttered: "Don't ever tell me you want another kid.... thats the last!!!" Oh how my heart goes out to her. Like a good obedient boy, I sheepishly replied, "Yes, of course, ..." AND she continued..."and you are really not at all a dependable husband... I can't trust you!" O...how my heart aches. In my mind, I don't see myself going for flings, or late night supper or beer, ,...I am but an honest loving hubby who comes home right after work. And by THE way, I also cook too you know... But well, just let her be.... But that kind of spoiled my week. Past few days, I have been wondering, how would life be like if I have no kids, not married or even unattached. But of course, I knew being married to HEr was one of the best things that God has done for me.
The soap opera continues with a few days later, she revealed. "I hate going back to work. " Ah ha... so that was the answer to her misery "You are undependable = I hate going back to work"!!! Now that makes sense... I smiled secretly It was odd though cos she loves her work, or more correctly, she is highly committed to her work. So it really ought not to be an issue. As a well trained facilitator, I probed a little more... "I understand how you feel... why not tell me about it..." I soothed her... and the truth came out. It was not about me, it was not even about the work... it was her worries that she may not even breastmilk for the little one.
Ah yo yo .... yes, women are really wired very differently. As for terrible husbands all there who share my plight, this is for us :"No women is complete until she takes a husband- only then can she be considered finish"
Sigh... I must admit, perhaps it was the flu bug or perhaps the knock-out over Christmas, I was not at all feeling well the past week. Physically, emotionally, etc. I knew SHE was upset with me. The fact that I knew she was upset that I am not much a help, especially when joanna cries at night or when my wife needs a good rub. I knew that I wanted to be there for her but its just that I am a dead log when I sleeep. God forgive me. On Christmas afternoon, after a long 4 hours sleep (yes, as all good men would blame it on the drowsiness of the pill) we got into a small argument. She was sobbing as she felt just so disappointed. I sure was afraid that she may conveniently transit into PNB- figure that out on ur own. The last B- is a colour!
And out she uttered: "Don't ever tell me you want another kid.... thats the last!!!" Oh how my heart goes out to her. Like a good obedient boy, I sheepishly replied, "Yes, of course, ..." AND she continued..."and you are really not at all a dependable husband... I can't trust you!" O...how my heart aches. In my mind, I don't see myself going for flings, or late night supper or beer, ,...I am but an honest loving hubby who comes home right after work. And by THE way, I also cook too you know... But well, just let her be.... But that kind of spoiled my week. Past few days, I have been wondering, how would life be like if I have no kids, not married or even unattached. But of course, I knew being married to HEr was one of the best things that God has done for me.
The soap opera continues with a few days later, she revealed. "I hate going back to work. " Ah ha... so that was the answer to her misery "You are undependable = I hate going back to work"!!! Now that makes sense... I smiled secretly
Ah yo yo .... yes, women are really wired very differently. As for terrible husbands all there who share my plight, this is for us :"No women is complete until she takes a husband- only then can she be considered finish"
A long three months ago...
Didn't realise that it was exactly 3 months ago that I last put an entry into my own blogspot. Interesting how I created new stuff through multiply- www.yeojohn75.multiply.com . Liked the interface very much cos its simple and compact. Pity, not many subscribers to mutiply so will park it for the time being. Got a little crazy with Facebook. Yes, the WORLD is in it. Interesting how I have been connected to so many networks. But it really frustrates me big time with the so many redundant applications.... maybe thats why people are on it... a simple outlet to "live" out of their boredom.
Joanna's a beautiful baby. I remember the week that she was born, so many things happened at home. Parents quarrelled, dad went missing, etc. I must say, Satan really wacks hard where it hurt most. Nonetheless, our good good God really answers prayers.... the night Joanna was about to be born, my dad came back. Its a testimony cos thereafter I asked him, being uncontactable for so long, how do you know when to return. His reply, "I felt something happened at home and thus I returned." Simply amazing how God works.
With a couple more days to 2008, I can't articulate anymore resolutions, with fear of yet another unfulfilled promise.
But I do know for sure that God wants me to draw closer to Him and lean less on my own strengths. How, I don't know. Many challenges lie ahead: the mime, my studies in June and July, my work, etc. But I know Joshua and Joanna would want to have a better father.
Sunday, October 28, 2007
Our God is watching
Dear friends
A lovely colleague shared this with me. Amidst little Joanna arriving anytime, a church play waiting to be rescripted, parents who are struggling with ageing, new work scopes.... so much uncertainty. This story just touched my heart ... that God is watching. Jehovah Jireh...
In September 1960, I woke up one morning with six hungry babies and just 75 cents in my pocket. Their father was gone. The boys ranged from three months to seven years; their sister was two. Their Dad had never been much more than a presence they feared.
Whenever they heard his tires crunch on the gravel driveway they would scramble to hide under their beds. He did manage to leave $15 a week to buy groceries.
Now that he had decided to leave, there would be no more beatings, but no food either.
If there was a welfare system in effect in southern Indiana at that time, I certainly knew nothing about it. I scrubbed the kids until they looked brand new and then put on my best homemade dress, loaded them into the rusty old 51 Chevy and drove off to find a job.
The seven of us went to every factory, store and restaurant in our small town.
No luck.
The kids stayed crammed into the car and tried to be quiet while I tried to convince who ever would listen that I was willing to learn or do anything. I had to have a job. Still no luck. The last place we went to, just a few miles out of town, was an old Root Beer Barrel drive -in that had been converted to a truck stop. It was called the Big Wheel.
An old lady named Granny owned the place and she peeked out of the window from time to time at all those kids. She needed someone on the graveyard shift, 11 at night until seven in the morning. She paid 65 cents an hour, and I could start that night. I raced home and called the teenager down the street that baby-sat for people. I bargained with her to come and sleep on my sofa for a dollar a night. She could arrive with her pajamas on and the kids would already be asleep. This seemed like a good arrangement to her, so we made a deal.
That night when the little ones and I knelt to say our prayers, we all thanked God for finding Mommy a job. And so I started at the Big Wheel. When I got home in the mornings I woke the baby-sitter up and sent her home with one dollar of my tip money-- fully half of what I averaged every night. As the weeks went by, heating bills added a strain to my meager wage.
The tires on the old Chevy had the consistency of penny balloons and began to leak. I had to fill them with air on the way to work and again every morning before I could go home.
One bleak fall morning, I dragged myself to the car to go home and found four tires in the back seat. New tires!
There was no note, no nothing, just those beautiful brand new tires.
Had angels taken up residence in Indiana ? I wondered.
I made a deal with the local service station.
In exchange for his mounting the new tires, I would clean up his office.
I remember it took me a lot longer to scrub his floor than it did for him to do the tires.
I was now working six nights instead of five and it still wasn't enough.
Christmas was coming and I knew there would be no money for toys for the kids.
I found a can of red paint and started repairing and painting some old toys. Then I hid them in the basement so there would be something for Santa to deliver on Christmas morning.
Clothes were a worry too. I was sewing patches on top of patches on the boys pants and soon they would be too far gone to repair.
On Christmas Eve the usual customers were drinking coffee in the Big Wheel. There were the truckers, Les , Frank, and Jim, and a state trooper named Joe. A few musicians were hanging around after a gig at the Legion and were dropping nickels in the pinball machine. The regulars all just sat around and talked through the wee hours of the morning and then left to get home before the sun came up. When it was time for me to go home at seven o'clock on Christmas morning, to my amazement, my old battered Chevy was filled full to the top with boxes of all shapes and sizes.
I quickly opened the driver's side door, crawled inside and kneeled in the front facing the back seat. Reaching back, I pulled off the lid of the top box. Inside was whole case of little blue jeans, sizes 2-10! I looked inside another box: It was full of shirts to go with the jeans. Then I peeked inside some of the other boxes. There was candy and nuts and bananas and bags of groceries. There was an enormous ham for baking, and canned vegetables and potatoes. There was pudding and Jell-O and cookies, pie filling and flour. There was whole bag of laundry supplies and cleaning items. And there were five toy trucks and one beautiful little doll.As I drove back through empty streets as the sun slowly rose on the most amazing Christmas Day of my life, I was sobbing with gratitude.
And I will never forget the joy on the faces of my little ones that precious morning. Yes, there were angels in Indiana that long-ago December. And they all hung out at the Big Wheel truck stop....
THE POWER OF PRAYER. I believe that God only gives three answers to prayer:
1. "Yes!"
2. "Not yet."
3. "I have something better in mind."
God still sits on the throne, the devil is a liar.
You maybe going through a tough time right now but God is getting ready to bless you in a way that you cannot imagine.
My instructions were to pick four people that I wanted God to bless,
and I picked you.
Let's continue to pray for one another. Here is the prayer:....
Father, I ask You to bless my friends, relatives and email buddies reading this right now. Show them a new revelation of Your love and power.
Amen.
On a personal note, I like to thank an angel. Was not sure where I could find a stage manager to assist for the play. Prayed about it. Still lost, an angel from church came forth if she could help. She was the perfect help as she is meticulous and big picture person. Someone I know I can trust and make things happen. A Godly woman. Though none came forth to audition yesterday, I received a call again from my angel. That's God's assurance that He is Jehovah Jireh
God is just so good, and He's good all the time.
Remember, prayer does change things!
A lovely colleague shared this with me. Amidst little Joanna arriving anytime, a church play waiting to be rescripted, parents who are struggling with ageing, new work scopes.... so much uncertainty. This story just touched my heart ... that God is watching. Jehovah Jireh...
In September 1960, I woke up one morning with six hungry babies and just 75 cents in my pocket. Their father was gone. The boys ranged from three months to seven years; their sister was two. Their Dad had never been much more than a presence they feared.
Whenever they heard his tires crunch on the gravel driveway they would scramble to hide under their beds. He did manage to leave $15 a week to buy groceries.
Now that he had decided to leave, there would be no more beatings, but no food either.
If there was a welfare system in effect in southern Indiana at that time, I certainly knew nothing about it. I scrubbed the kids until they looked brand new and then put on my best homemade dress, loaded them into the rusty old 51 Chevy and drove off to find a job.
The seven of us went to every factory, store and restaurant in our small town.
No luck.
The kids stayed crammed into the car and tried to be quiet while I tried to convince who ever would listen that I was willing to learn or do anything. I had to have a job. Still no luck. The last place we went to, just a few miles out of town, was an old Root Beer Barrel drive -in that had been converted to a truck stop. It was called the Big Wheel.
An old lady named Granny owned the place and she peeked out of the window from time to time at all those kids. She needed someone on the graveyard shift, 11 at night until seven in the morning. She paid 65 cents an hour, and I could start that night. I raced home and called the teenager down the street that baby-sat for people. I bargained with her to come and sleep on my sofa for a dollar a night. She could arrive with her pajamas on and the kids would already be asleep. This seemed like a good arrangement to her, so we made a deal.
That night when the little ones and I knelt to say our prayers, we all thanked God for finding Mommy a job. And so I started at the Big Wheel. When I got home in the mornings I woke the baby-sitter up and sent her home with one dollar of my tip money-- fully half of what I averaged every night. As the weeks went by, heating bills added a strain to my meager wage.
The tires on the old Chevy had the consistency of penny balloons and began to leak. I had to fill them with air on the way to work and again every morning before I could go home.
One bleak fall morning, I dragged myself to the car to go home and found four tires in the back seat. New tires!
There was no note, no nothing, just those beautiful brand new tires.
Had angels taken up residence in Indiana ? I wondered.
I made a deal with the local service station.
In exchange for his mounting the new tires, I would clean up his office.
I remember it took me a lot longer to scrub his floor than it did for him to do the tires.
I was now working six nights instead of five and it still wasn't enough.
Christmas was coming and I knew there would be no money for toys for the kids.
I found a can of red paint and started repairing and painting some old toys. Then I hid them in the basement so there would be something for Santa to deliver on Christmas morning.
Clothes were a worry too. I was sewing patches on top of patches on the boys pants and soon they would be too far gone to repair.
On Christmas Eve the usual customers were drinking coffee in the Big Wheel. There were the truckers, Les , Frank, and Jim, and a state trooper named Joe. A few musicians were hanging around after a gig at the Legion and were dropping nickels in the pinball machine. The regulars all just sat around and talked through the wee hours of the morning and then left to get home before the sun came up. When it was time for me to go home at seven o'clock on Christmas morning, to my amazement, my old battered Chevy was filled full to the top with boxes of all shapes and sizes.
I quickly opened the driver's side door, crawled inside and kneeled in the front facing the back seat. Reaching back, I pulled off the lid of the top box. Inside was whole case of little blue jeans, sizes 2-10! I looked inside another box: It was full of shirts to go with the jeans. Then I peeked inside some of the other boxes. There was candy and nuts and bananas and bags of groceries. There was an enormous ham for baking, and canned vegetables and potatoes. There was pudding and Jell-O and cookies, pie filling and flour. There was whole bag of laundry supplies and cleaning items. And there were five toy trucks and one beautiful little doll.As I drove back through empty streets as the sun slowly rose on the most amazing Christmas Day of my life, I was sobbing with gratitude.
And I will never forget the joy on the faces of my little ones that precious morning. Yes, there were angels in Indiana that long-ago December. And they all hung out at the Big Wheel truck stop....
THE POWER OF PRAYER. I believe that God only gives three answers to prayer:
1. "Yes!"
2. "Not yet."
3. "I have something better in mind."
God still sits on the throne, the devil is a liar.
You maybe going through a tough time right now but God is getting ready to bless you in a way that you cannot imagine.
My instructions were to pick four people that I wanted God to bless,
and I picked you.
Let's continue to pray for one another. Here is the prayer:....
Father, I ask You to bless my friends, relatives and email buddies reading this right now. Show them a new revelation of Your love and power.
Amen.
On a personal note, I like to thank an angel. Was not sure where I could find a stage manager to assist for the play. Prayed about it. Still lost, an angel from church came forth if she could help. She was the perfect help as she is meticulous and big picture person. Someone I know I can trust and make things happen. A Godly woman. Though none came forth to audition yesterday, I received a call again from my angel. That's God's assurance that He is Jehovah Jireh
God is just so good, and He's good all the time.
Remember, prayer does change things!
Saturday, October 27, 2007
A tree with two trunks at Orchard Library
Rambling Libriarian reminded me that Orchard Library is shifting....real soon. Though only been there about 4-5 times, I love the design of the library.When I first visited the library, I was woo-ed with the music stations by the sides. I am not sure if we are the only library in the world that offers this but, it sure is a very cool idea. Also the very distinct "open" concept of how the space is utilized, how the shelves are so well spaced out, and the huge number of books on art and design is simply just an arts haven.
I dropped by yesterday to look for books on directing plays. Last checked, White Sands library does not offer much of a choice. Yesterday, I picked so many wonderful books I wished I could use my family members' cards to borrow more. (NLB should do a research or test indicator on the "culture of Singapore library users: HOw kiasu are we")
The pleasant treat was, there was a manga awards ceremony -Mangaka (very interesting twist to how the Tekka market is pronounced in hokkien/teochew- very SingApor-ian). Otto Fong, a teacher in RI, was the guest judge. I like his point about how even manga art needs be innovated. He shared on how the girl drew the manga gal version of the merlion, how imagination led this kid to draw a monster manga pic out of a make up artist imagination. I loved the manga in the open category- very beautiful. WOnder if NLB will be showcasing them online too?
Time to meet my wife. Before I left, I dropped my Library books chit in the box that may allow me to win a book. I was certain I got the closing date correct: 30 Nov. Very clever way to engage readers! Along the way out, I asked the librarian at the entrance, "Is the rambling librarian working here today?" Jokingly she replied, "He doesn't ramble on Saturdays!"
I caught the photo of the lovely graffiti on the glass. Can you see the "tree"? Look carefully, a tree with magical white leaves. Can you see the short stumpy blue tree trunk? Look again. Is the trunk blue or is it black and longer?
Einstein said "No problem can be solved by the same consciousness that created it". Use a different lens to see the creative world around us.
A very lost blogger
Woke up somewhat angry with self for how silly I am in not being able to be more IT savvy (very clearly a digital alien trying to step into zone of at least a digital immigrant) and sad. Sad that I am beginning to love blogging more but not sure how I can better use this to "communicate"
So if there are any kind souls who happen to read this.... please help....
1) how do I created a forum like what you have done for people to "talk" to me?? The reason why I started to blog was to use blog as a platform to continue the friendship with my students. Somehow,,,, after changing the skin, I lost the "code"
2) HOw do I get into a "community of bloggers"? How can pp read and share on my blog or I can do likewise for others?
So if there are any kind souls who happen to read this.... please help....
1) how do I created a forum like what you have done for people to "talk" to me?? The reason why I started to blog was to use blog as a platform to continue the friendship with my students. Somehow,,,, after changing the skin, I lost the "code"
2) HOw do I get into a "community of bloggers"? How can pp read and share on my blog or I can do likewise for others?
Thursday, October 25, 2007
What I can do during a boring seminar
Though here to get some fresh ideas for Digital Exchange, nothing seems to excit me. Man, its tough to sustain my attention through talks on digital content, standards-compliant courseware, etc.... ONly thing I thought was good was on the alternative of copyrights. COPY LEFT!!! Useful insight and wonder how rapidly the world is changing through the participatory culture. What I like is the idea on how people enjoy sharing, how people find it fulfilling to adapt, modify. or co-create. Altruism. Throughout that segment, I struggle with asking myself.... So should I copyright or copyleft my Emotional Intelligence Game? Tough question...
Had an interesting conversation earlier with one participant on need to continue learning....even til old. As a son, I often feel a little uncomfortable when my dad starts talking.... is it just bad attitude on my side or is he not conscious of how others feel about what or how he talks. Mum complains of his bad temper but a son, I know that he needs to talk... is he really falling "sick" mentally? What can I do? Talk more with him? Tough. Encourage him to take courses.... perhaps. Perhaps hooking him up to a computer course would be useful.
The unfilial son...
Had an interesting conversation earlier with one participant on need to continue learning....even til old. As a son, I often feel a little uncomfortable when my dad starts talking.... is it just bad attitude on my side or is he not conscious of how others feel about what or how he talks. Mum complains of his bad temper but a son, I know that he needs to talk... is he really falling "sick" mentally? What can I do? Talk more with him? Tough. Encourage him to take courses.... perhaps. Perhaps hooking him up to a computer course would be useful.
The unfilial son...
Monday, October 15, 2007
Gift to be Simple
Its odd why I felt delighted this afternoon with just barely half an hour cleaning up the Level 12 pantry. As the SWAT chair, how can I not lead by example. Initially I thought it was silly to clean up while there were tons of more serious work to be done at my workstation. But as I started filling up the glass bottles with biscuits, I could see in my mind the happy faces on colleagues when they walk into the pantry and see it sparkling clean with biscuits all filled to the brim. I wanted people to be proud of entering into a special place that they could feel a personal touch. Someone who made it special just for them. That made me happy.
Sometimes, greatness is not in the acts of doing big things, but just the simple act of making someone else smile. I know that cos I know from the weary face of the cleaning uncles and aunties in food courts who I heard are only paid $2 per hour to clean the table. It doesn't take much to just do our small parts and always lend a "thank you" or a "xie xie" to show our appreciation. Sadly, these are the good folks that many take for granted.
I want to make the world a better place. It doesn't have to be a big move. Just start with a smile! :)
Sometimes, greatness is not in the acts of doing big things, but just the simple act of making someone else smile. I know that cos I know from the weary face of the cleaning uncles and aunties in food courts who I heard are only paid $2 per hour to clean the table. It doesn't take much to just do our small parts and always lend a "thank you" or a "xie xie" to show our appreciation. Sadly, these are the good folks that many take for granted.
I want to make the world a better place. It doesn't have to be a big move. Just start with a smile! :)
Thursday, October 11, 2007
The 7 Cs by Cresswell
To the heavy hearted,
I met a friend recently at the Facilitator's Network and we were engaged in good thoughtful exchanges. Cresswell shared the following with me and I like to share with you. I hope it encourages you. Cress angled his 7 Cs from an organisational point of view. Here, I pened (typed) my thoughts on the wisdom from a more personal perspective. ANyway, my inspiration for my songs has always been drawn from looking out to the sea. Yes, I really love the analogy of C to sea.... all aboard!
The 7 "C" Success Factors behind Extra-ordinary business:
I met a friend recently at the Facilitator's Network and we were engaged in good thoughtful exchanges. Cresswell shared the following with me and I like to share with you. I hope it encourages you. Cress angled his 7 Cs from an organisational point of view. Here, I pened (typed) my thoughts on the wisdom from a more personal perspective. ANyway, my inspiration for my songs has always been drawn from looking out to the sea. Yes, I really love the analogy of C to sea.... all aboard!
The 7 "C" Success Factors behind Extra-ordinary business:
1. COURSE: Ship-wide alignment to a common course
- Before you embark on your noble journey, helps with clarifying your personal vision. "Course" alignment is essential especially in personal leadership.
- Greatness of a leader may then be measured then subsequently by your vision and values.
- Exploration of your inner territory
- Finding the strength through your style. For example, if people know that your ability to charm others through your personality, and your credible charisma simply makes things happen, synergise that to become your charming charisma to stir new directions in your life.
- "I am driven by concerns for the legacy I am leaving for my children." Gail Mayville
2. CHOICE: Everyone acts as a 'captain' of their own ship
- Outstanding individuals all share a common trait: they live and die by their initiative and creative capacity that flow from th proactive engagement of everyone.
- Choice shifts an individual from reactive to proactive stance, from passive to response-able voice, from delegation to others to trusting others and trusting self.
3. COURAGE: Go to sea, despite your fear, risk and do right things, right
- Courage carries the day in crisis, floods work with passion and purpose
- Amidst heightened uncertainty, take the right risks
- Do the right things!
4. CAPACITY: Keep ship-shape and build sea-worthiness in all 4 compass quandrants
- Maintainance of equilibrium- health (body), learning (mind), culture (emotion) and higher purpose (spirit)
- Growth requires reaching beyond current limits, expending energy, then resting and building
5. COMPANION: Get the right crew onboard, in the right relationships
- Success of your leadership is highly dependent on the sum of the people you build and the relationship between those people.
- Get them into the position that employs their gifts and the creating and sustaining empowering, co-creative relationships.
- People first! Its worth making the first connection... then soon, compassion and collaboration.
6. CURIOSITY: Cast off, explore new territory, learn and renew continuously
- Continous learning and renewal keeps you afloat in the sea of change.
- It is the key to inner transformation i order to adapt and expand your capacity to produce results
7. COMPASSION: Sail for the king and country
- How do you build a heart that will woo your people to buy-in and give their best and stay by your side.
- the unspoken code that drives good to extraordinary.
I like to add to Cress list 2 more Cs:
Contemplation?
- Need for reflection, journey out to the sea as a way to express separation from the environment;
- A renewal process that will require opening the doors you shut previously, or walking in dark spaces that are frightening, or touching the flames that will burn. BUT the end is, truth.
- from looking within then to looking out before moving on.- A practice is finding greater resonance within self and the activities you set forth (for e.g. Peter Senges book - [The Fifth Discipline]:The Art and Practice of the Learning Organisation)
Creativity?
- Ability to modify your self imposed constraints and to make connections where none existed before.
- Enjoy the imagination that drives that need to change and seek that desire to experience self fulfilling success!
- Creative people would enjoy a sense of ownership, empowerment and spirit
Monday, October 08, 2007
The broken heart of a teacher
The best gift that a teacher can ever receive is when they know that they have made a difference in the lives of their students. One of those most memorable program that I facilitated was produced into a video and uploaded on youtube. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-JdMDi91g64 Each time I revisit this video, dust gets in my eye.
1. A Service Learning project that went through so much from conceptualisation to preparation and 'painfully' implemented. Yet, it reaped many sweet returns with intangible lessons learnt. It really made such a big difference in many, including mine. I enjoyed seeing how a class of very intelligent students driven to get the As transformed to be caring, creative and responsible individuals. This too was one reason that held me back from resigning in Oct 2005.
1. A Service Learning project that went through so much from conceptualisation to preparation and 'painfully' implemented. Yet, it reaped many sweet returns with intangible lessons learnt. It really made such a big difference in many, including mine. I enjoyed seeing how a class of very intelligent students driven to get the As transformed to be caring, creative and responsible individuals. This too was one reason that held me back from resigning in Oct 2005.
2. A reflection of much heart break: these two videos were mostly filmed, edited and produced by one single kid. Yet, in 2006 this kid was sent to a home for thief and several other crimes. In one instance, he had even stolen a laptop from school and had it sold at the cash-mart. I know him. A clever boy. A kind hearted child deeply gentle within. A very tech savvy boy. Yet, it saddened me tremendously to hear of his misdeeds. I counselled him when his parents broke up in 2005. His dad abused him. His mum from a foreign land knew not how to manage him further but to eventually report him to the police... because she loved him. He knew not her love for him. While he left school and ran about doing odd jobs, I tried to look for him. Each time he promised to turn over a new leave, it became yet another broken promise. I too was at my wits ends. I pondered, how can society give this 17 year old boy another chance. Can't we use his talents and make him a better man... Pehaps I failed him as a teacher.
Perhaps I did.
The broken hearted teacher,
jy
The broken hearted teacher,
jy
Tuesday, October 02, 2007
Saturday was a good morning.
Good becos Joshua and I went to Lim Choo Kang jetty to do our part to clean the beach. International Coastal Cleanup 2007 for SWAT. Initially was worried for the low turn up but surprise surprise when we got there, it was a good number that came forth including other volunteers who lent a hand.
Whats more meaningful was a morning where people mingled together for a common cause. TO rid the beach of stuff that are not eco-friendly. Stuff like rubber materials (we dug out a wheel of a truck), metal( rid of some screw drivers and shovel), glass and plastic stuff (plently of plastic bags, broken glass bottles, ball, etc) and plenty of interesting stuff like wheel can, clothings, fishing nets, styroform boxes that perhaps dropped off from fishing boats, etc.
Personally I always wish that I could start little Joshua off on some community projects and what better way then to get in touch with good old Mother Nature. We got really "stuck" and became the swamp thing when Josh and I ended up in the sticky gluey mud that trapped our sandals. Thank GOd for good old Oliver who came to our rescue. O, Oliver is one of the coolest people I knew way back in NUS Biological Sciences dept where he was also my tutor for some modules. I missed the days we went to Malaysia for field trips where he showed us how wonderful nature has to offer with his shapr senses and expert knowledge. Then we met again last year where I helped to review the Bio textbooks for CPDD. And guess where I ended up after that! LOL
Whats more meaningful was a morning where people mingled together for a common cause. TO rid the beach of stuff that are not eco-friendly. Stuff like rubber materials (we dug out a wheel of a truck), metal( rid of some screw drivers and shovel), glass and plastic stuff (plently of plastic bags, broken glass bottles, ball, etc) and plenty of interesting stuff like wheel can, clothings, fishing nets, styroform boxes that perhaps dropped off from fishing boats, etc.
Personally I always wish that I could start little Joshua off on some community projects and what better way then to get in touch with good old Mother Nature. We got really "stuck" and became the swamp thing when Josh and I ended up in the sticky gluey mud that trapped our sandals. Thank GOd for good old Oliver who came to our rescue. O, Oliver is one of the coolest people I knew way back in NUS Biological Sciences dept where he was also my tutor for some modules. I missed the days we went to Malaysia for field trips where he showed us how wonderful nature has to offer with his shapr senses and expert knowledge. Then we met again last year where I helped to review the Bio textbooks for CPDD. And guess where I ended up after that! LOL
I am proud of little Joshua who constantly asked to wash his muddy feet; helped me pull up stuck fishing nets (and almost pulled down my pants too) as well as did his little part in digging up the huge wheel.
Check out more photos of the event: http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=748497641
GAMING generation 2.0
Well, Joshua is so into guns and arcade games that I have decided to just purchase a FUNStation for him to enter "officially" into what marc prensky calls the age of digital natives. Man, how he loves the shooting and fighting. We started playing yesterday and I just love how he ask me "We both die already?" Thank God I "died" with him else he will start having teary eyes again.
Than again, wonder who will be th one who will be hooked onto gaming. At least I knew the last time I play tetris, I played it all night looooooooooooooooooong.
Lets change that from the start. Least what I did was to set an alarm clock that will remind us 15 min is up. LOL. Ya right, I say to myelf.
Sunday, September 30, 2007
Lost Lost Lost.
Attended a talk on Blogging and New Media by 'Rambling Librarian' super cool chap who is just himself sharing on the goodness of blogging. That was 2 weeks back. But somehow the RI teacher case was kind of scary.....
I know its tough to maintain esp with my last posting up in January...LOLLLL... man I probably lost all the online students. Bet they gave up on me liao. Sob sob. anyway its been a terrible terrble week....
Just a sense of being LOST i my life again. (and not becos I just watched Lost)
I sure miss teaching and I miss my dear dear students. My darlings in 2N1, 2E6, 4E1, 4E2, of the past 3 years, and the many many young/old friends in zhss. Yes, friends. THats why I feel so terrrible. U know, for the many wonderful things my students have done for me,,, I reallly realllllllllly missed them so terribly, and I told myself that I woud want to buy them something special on Childrens Day. Well, children s day is here BUT I got nothing but my sorrows.
Do i hate my new post? Actually no... not at all. Its just that I miss my students- they are really why I came to HQ. Cos I saw and believed the greater calling. Calling to make a bigger difference. At least that was what wabbit said I could do and inspired me to do just that last Oct. Yes, that fateful week of just about to resign. She is one cool cool boss. The best really. One who could see the potential and gave me all the room to learn and grow. And I did. I want to be just the leader that students and teachers will look up to. I want to be a Principal one day (at least thats what I said in 2002)... one that will inspire teachers to teach from the heart. One that people will say... "woo hooo... lets just do it". I am sure wabbit was such a P. I could imagine the day she left each of her previous school... how kids would aspire to study for her. For me, I just aspire to be that leader that can inspire teachers to inspire students to be the best they can be..for themselves... and happily learning and having in school. THat education is not about learning to get grades but one that allows ALL to live the dream of Lets Build A world that believed in just the best for all. O yes, grades will then just be so chicken feet. IDeal school...? why not... If I had the balls to declare that aspiration back in 2002, then whats stopping good teachers to aspire that "forbidden track"? 2007.... all the more I see that we need schools to be like such. Yes, end of 2006 was a dreary burnt out, disillusioned by the many initiatives of the "grandfather"... til my mentor came along and showed me the waY.
People are more complex here. THere are more people that seemed to always double guess others' good intentions. Then there are just some others who are so held back by the institutional "rightness" to safe guard much BUT... I just missed days when Thiam Seng, Chye I, Siew Yen and all the most wonderful colleagues helped one another. I remembered, how they celebrated with me when my class did well in the national service learning project. They too was a turning point cos I saw the better side of the selflessness of teachers. We had "the Lets do it for the students sake". When it comes to youth performances, who cares about being laughed at with Mdm Pok POk,,, its all becos we loved our students... and I just am so grateful for those days.
Now that the person I respect most here is leaving, I feel kindof so lost. She wrote, don't let me leaving derail you from becoming a P one day. Well, what can I say but LC, I am grateful for the faith and trust in me. Jabbit has still lots more to learn. I never regret that. And I am happy for her. Happy that she will bring about one of the most dramatic changes to the education in Singapore. Its too selfish to want her to stay on but as an emo subj, I can't help but feel lost.
Can an emo subj ever be a school leader? I just suddenly felt its tough. Wife having body aches cos the baby is coming out soon and I can't do much to lighten her load, friend whose birthday just broke up with partner, LC leaving, a cell group that don't seem to even want to grow, Cell members resigning from their jobs or having bad time at work, .... so much that I can feel lousy about. How about not able to think of a name for my little one, ... or having to work on church 40th anniversary script that I felT so lacking of inspiration.
Lost lost lost.........
I know there are good things I can give thanks for... lets name them!
1. Thank God that my son almost pulled my pants down yesterday when we were cleaning the beach at Lim Chu Kang. I pray he will be an environmentalist too! NO SHARKS FIN pls.
2. Thank God for seeing the delighted face when we took the Dark Tours...LOL I meant DUCK. Talking about Duck tour...man, i so glad met Michelle today. And my girl was holding a boy's hand... U ve grown up and I m so so proud of you too. Wonder if yours will be my first Wedding Invite. LOL....
3. THank God for the wonderful dinner my faithful and loving wife prepared. Man tend not to seem appreciative of the wife's efforts... but one day if u chanced upon this, may u know how much i so lurve u for the Sunday breakfast that u painstakingly prepare for me. I really do.
4. Thank God for being able to join the Innolab team. Thats grace!
5. Thank God for the little one coming on Nov 9... God knew how pained we were when we lost our Last. God is merciful.
6. Thank God that I saw Zixun writing a hello note. Yes, Zixun, Mr Yeo never forget about you and am glad that I heard you are doing better in school. Remember Zixun, don't let your "evil" self get the better of you. I always respect you for the goodness I have see in you.
7. Thank GOd for Yingwen... my 'fav' student since Sec 1. This was a little girl whom I thought will never speak up in class. So I thought. Then she ended up speaking up in another way. LOL. Yingwen, Mr Yeo did you proud. My second article in the PS21 magazine 'Challenge' was also published. hee hee. NOt bad eh.... how can your teacher lose to you. HOWEVER, may I remind you my friend, do well for your As first before you continue writing ok.
8. Glad that I could just talk to Henry today. My dear students, uncle Henry was Mr Yeo's best friend since Sec school and I am just so so proud and glad that he recently got married to a beautiful lady. I always believe that when we honour God, God will honour us. Treasure your friends. Do unto others what you hope others would do unto you.
9. Glad that I just watched the farewell party by 2N again on youtube. It sure brought tears to my eyes. Thank you for making me, just your unique Super Yeo.
10. Thank God that I could stay up tonight to blog. Wabbit said I should write more professionally... man, either I really can't write at all, or I write so much... sigh sigh sigh.
I know its tough to maintain esp with my last posting up in January...LOLLLL... man I probably lost all the online students. Bet they gave up on me liao. Sob sob. anyway its been a terrible terrble week....
Just a sense of being LOST i my life again. (and not becos I just watched Lost)
I sure miss teaching and I miss my dear dear students. My darlings in 2N1, 2E6, 4E1, 4E2, of the past 3 years, and the many many young/old friends in zhss. Yes, friends. THats why I feel so terrrible. U know, for the many wonderful things my students have done for me,,, I reallly realllllllllly missed them so terribly, and I told myself that I woud want to buy them something special on Childrens Day. Well, children s day is here BUT I got nothing but my sorrows.
Do i hate my new post? Actually no... not at all. Its just that I miss my students- they are really why I came to HQ. Cos I saw and believed the greater calling. Calling to make a bigger difference. At least that was what wabbit said I could do and inspired me to do just that last Oct. Yes, that fateful week of just about to resign. She is one cool cool boss. The best really. One who could see the potential and gave me all the room to learn and grow. And I did. I want to be just the leader that students and teachers will look up to. I want to be a Principal one day (at least thats what I said in 2002)... one that will inspire teachers to teach from the heart. One that people will say... "woo hooo... lets just do it". I am sure wabbit was such a P. I could imagine the day she left each of her previous school... how kids would aspire to study for her. For me, I just aspire to be that leader that can inspire teachers to inspire students to be the best they can be..for themselves... and happily learning and having in school. THat education is not about learning to get grades but one that allows ALL to live the dream of Lets Build A world that believed in just the best for all. O yes, grades will then just be so chicken feet. IDeal school...? why not... If I had the balls to declare that aspiration back in 2002, then whats stopping good teachers to aspire that "forbidden track"? 2007.... all the more I see that we need schools to be like such. Yes, end of 2006 was a dreary burnt out, disillusioned by the many initiatives of the "grandfather"... til my mentor came along and showed me the waY.
People are more complex here. THere are more people that seemed to always double guess others' good intentions. Then there are just some others who are so held back by the institutional "rightness" to safe guard much BUT... I just missed days when Thiam Seng, Chye I, Siew Yen and all the most wonderful colleagues helped one another. I remembered, how they celebrated with me when my class did well in the national service learning project. They too was a turning point cos I saw the better side of the selflessness of teachers. We had "the Lets do it for the students sake". When it comes to youth performances, who cares about being laughed at with Mdm Pok POk,,, its all becos we loved our students... and I just am so grateful for those days.
Now that the person I respect most here is leaving, I feel kindof so lost. She wrote, don't let me leaving derail you from becoming a P one day. Well, what can I say but LC, I am grateful for the faith and trust in me. Jabbit has still lots more to learn. I never regret that. And I am happy for her. Happy that she will bring about one of the most dramatic changes to the education in Singapore. Its too selfish to want her to stay on but as an emo subj, I can't help but feel lost.
Can an emo subj ever be a school leader? I just suddenly felt its tough. Wife having body aches cos the baby is coming out soon and I can't do much to lighten her load, friend whose birthday just broke up with partner, LC leaving, a cell group that don't seem to even want to grow, Cell members resigning from their jobs or having bad time at work, .... so much that I can feel lousy about. How about not able to think of a name for my little one, ... or having to work on church 40th anniversary script that I felT so lacking of inspiration.
Lost lost lost.........
I know there are good things I can give thanks for... lets name them!
1. Thank God that my son almost pulled my pants down yesterday when we were cleaning the beach at Lim Chu Kang. I pray he will be an environmentalist too! NO SHARKS FIN pls.
2. Thank God for seeing the delighted face when we took the Dark Tours...LOL I meant DUCK. Talking about Duck tour...man, i so glad met Michelle today. And my girl was holding a boy's hand... U ve grown up and I m so so proud of you too. Wonder if yours will be my first Wedding Invite. LOL....
3. THank God for the wonderful dinner my faithful and loving wife prepared. Man tend not to seem appreciative of the wife's efforts... but one day if u chanced upon this, may u know how much i so lurve u for the Sunday breakfast that u painstakingly prepare for me. I really do.
4. Thank God for being able to join the Innolab team. Thats grace!
5. Thank God for the little one coming on Nov 9... God knew how pained we were when we lost our Last. God is merciful.
6. Thank God that I saw Zixun writing a hello note. Yes, Zixun, Mr Yeo never forget about you and am glad that I heard you are doing better in school. Remember Zixun, don't let your "evil" self get the better of you. I always respect you for the goodness I have see in you.
7. Thank GOd for Yingwen... my 'fav' student since Sec 1. This was a little girl whom I thought will never speak up in class. So I thought. Then she ended up speaking up in another way. LOL. Yingwen, Mr Yeo did you proud. My second article in the PS21 magazine 'Challenge' was also published. hee hee. NOt bad eh.... how can your teacher lose to you. HOWEVER, may I remind you my friend, do well for your As first before you continue writing ok.
8. Glad that I could just talk to Henry today. My dear students, uncle Henry was Mr Yeo's best friend since Sec school and I am just so so proud and glad that he recently got married to a beautiful lady. I always believe that when we honour God, God will honour us. Treasure your friends. Do unto others what you hope others would do unto you.
9. Glad that I just watched the farewell party by 2N again on youtube. It sure brought tears to my eyes. Thank you for making me, just your unique Super Yeo.
10. Thank God that I could stay up tonight to blog. Wabbit said I should write more professionally... man, either I really can't write at all, or I write so much... sigh sigh sigh.
Monday, June 18, 2007
Miracles 07
My "dad" mysteriously disappeared for a week after a quarrel with my mum. After a police report, then I knew he left the country. I so terribly hoped dad would be back to carry my daughter on the first instance. When I knew that Joanna was coming out one week in advance, I thought that hope was gone. However, miraculously, dad returned the very night my wife went into a labour. When I asked him why, he said he felt something happened back at home two nights before joanna arrived. That's a great miracle right?
While my wife and daughter were still in the hospital, my elder son Joshua got into a very high fever (39 degree celcius) on Sunday night. He was even shivering and went into fit. I had to bring him to KK hospital alone that night at 3am in the storm. It was indeed a frightening experience as a dad. At 5am, we managed to drive back, still in the rain, and singing Christian songs along the way.
We went to the pediatrician, and after a blood test, realised that Joanna had very high level of jaundice and we were strongly advised to send her into hospital for photo therapy. I was not comfortable with the idea as my wife is still not well and she would be worst if to stay by daughter side in the hospital. I prayed to God to stop the rain so that I could "sun" her. Miraculously even though it rained for past 3 days n even this morning, the rain, did stop at noon.
Monday, January 29, 2007
What you do when you don't know what else to do
I hope to live LIFE TO MY FULLEST
Almost impossible when you grow older>@#@*($^$#$
I was driving and kind of feeling sorry for self.... ya self pity, stupid morning jam, unfinished work, not having enough time to b super daddy, more meetings and minutes to type, the list goes on.
Its also tough to do QT each day, once you plonk your bums onto chair in office and on the computer... the craze and race begins
Suddenly as I read about Our daily Bread, about the Disneyland being the Happiest place on earth, I can't stop but ask... What am I going to do on this earth... listening on to the audio bible on John yes, JOhn, images conjurred of how Jesus was ministering to the people, I can't help but ask... He too was a very busy man... but he knew His purpose.
Taking a step back, I can't help but find it silly to squeeze in the jam to fight for a smoother lane. Give the man a break, I say. Others may find it a lost to let unwillingly another car squeeze in. What is there to lose... face... hah.. the man behind can't see ya unless I stick my head out and make a fool.
Sometimes just going against the "norm" and looking at big pictures and doing it differently, does help to settle your heart and mind.
If Jesus can do it, so can I!
Why..
1. Maximise potential of each day
2. More meaningfully engaging each day
3. Feel more shiok
4. MOre focussed
5. Greater zest
6. Inspire others to b jus as passionate or even more
7. Fire in my eyes
8. Being creative in how I can fun with each day
9. Look back 10 years later and say, I did it!
10. Go to bed each night with a smile
Almost impossible when you grow older>@#@*($^$#$
I was driving and kind of feeling sorry for self.... ya self pity, stupid morning jam, unfinished work, not having enough time to b super daddy, more meetings and minutes to type, the list goes on.
Its also tough to do QT each day, once you plonk your bums onto chair in office and on the computer... the craze and race begins
Suddenly as I read about Our daily Bread, about the Disneyland being the Happiest place on earth, I can't stop but ask... What am I going to do on this earth... listening on to the audio bible on John yes, JOhn, images conjurred of how Jesus was ministering to the people, I can't help but ask... He too was a very busy man... but he knew His purpose.
Taking a step back, I can't help but find it silly to squeeze in the jam to fight for a smoother lane. Give the man a break, I say. Others may find it a lost to let unwillingly another car squeeze in. What is there to lose... face... hah.. the man behind can't see ya unless I stick my head out and make a fool.
Sometimes just going against the "norm" and looking at big pictures and doing it differently, does help to settle your heart and mind.
If Jesus can do it, so can I!
Why..
1. Maximise potential of each day
2. More meaningfully engaging each day
3. Feel more shiok
4. MOre focussed
5. Greater zest
6. Inspire others to b jus as passionate or even more
7. Fire in my eyes
8. Being creative in how I can fun with each day
9. Look back 10 years later and say, I did it!
10. Go to bed each night with a smile
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
Finding INspiration within is such a beautiful and liberating experience!
After a week of info-loaded induction in my new job, sleep was my ony past time during the weekend. Interestingly, I woke up on Sun, caught the news and heard about the mysterious streak of light across the normally unexciting dull Singapore skies. Going back to sleep shortly after dinner, I dreamt I was riding on the light....
I sensed the sorrow of people who lost their loved ones, I sensed the fear of people living not knowing when the bomb will next blow on them, I sensed the loneliness of people who lost their job and wonders why the papers brags on the economic turn of the year, I sensed the pain of mothers who seemed so near yet so far to their child they loved.
It was such an awed dream and the feeling I had was "why". With the rush and buzz of the past 2 days, I was fortunate to look across my window and saw the gardeners tidying up the bushes of the lovely slope of the Biopolis and suddenly I found the key to unlock the dream. How often I lived my life rushing from moment to moment, day to day, year to year. The dream revealed of people I know and chatted with in Dec. A friend who was suddenly retrenched, a student's mum who just could no longer connect to a son who was fighting for his freedom, the people I watched on TV crying when they hear of the crash of the Indonesian plane.
How have I lived each day of my life? How have I made a difference in someone's life? When was last time I stopped to pray for a stranger in need of help?
I realised once again, we are called to live with a purpose. To seek our individual purpose is a journey that is interconnected with the people around us, the events that are happening around us. Counting my blessings, I know life must not only still go... but how I want it to go on!
As for my darling Joshua, if only you understand why I take on this job because I am compelled to want to make your education a better one for you one day. Yes, 21st century skills is BIG but whats the big deal? Its not just a vehicle to make you a better person but somehow, to help you chart your own dreams into reality. None-the-less, I have also neglected you.... thank you for waiting for me everyday by the door shouting "ko ko ding". I wish you will remember how endearing this title is to us. Its stupid to just wish for more time to spend together. Remember how much I would love to read to you bed-time stories, how we fight as shark and dolphin, how I became dong dong chang for you, may I never look back again and say "if only I had more time with you"
At the centre of my heart, its about angels that God placed in my life to challenge for growth, to just give a big smile and sing them a happy song, to just stand up no matter how exhausted I may be to offer a seat, to give a pat and say "Well done", to lend a shoulder to cry on and just shut up, to not say anything but just act upon a need, to speak when no one dares to challenge, to stop and just let others win, to inspire and tell them they too can make a difference,.....
Count my blessings.
After a week of info-loaded induction in my new job, sleep was my ony past time during the weekend. Interestingly, I woke up on Sun, caught the news and heard about the mysterious streak of light across the normally unexciting dull Singapore skies. Going back to sleep shortly after dinner, I dreamt I was riding on the light....
I sensed the sorrow of people who lost their loved ones, I sensed the fear of people living not knowing when the bomb will next blow on them, I sensed the loneliness of people who lost their job and wonders why the papers brags on the economic turn of the year, I sensed the pain of mothers who seemed so near yet so far to their child they loved.
It was such an awed dream and the feeling I had was "why". With the rush and buzz of the past 2 days, I was fortunate to look across my window and saw the gardeners tidying up the bushes of the lovely slope of the Biopolis and suddenly I found the key to unlock the dream. How often I lived my life rushing from moment to moment, day to day, year to year. The dream revealed of people I know and chatted with in Dec. A friend who was suddenly retrenched, a student's mum who just could no longer connect to a son who was fighting for his freedom, the people I watched on TV crying when they hear of the crash of the Indonesian plane.
How have I lived each day of my life? How have I made a difference in someone's life? When was last time I stopped to pray for a stranger in need of help?
I realised once again, we are called to live with a purpose. To seek our individual purpose is a journey that is interconnected with the people around us, the events that are happening around us. Counting my blessings, I know life must not only still go... but how I want it to go on!
As for my darling Joshua, if only you understand why I take on this job because I am compelled to want to make your education a better one for you one day. Yes, 21st century skills is BIG but whats the big deal? Its not just a vehicle to make you a better person but somehow, to help you chart your own dreams into reality. None-the-less, I have also neglected you.... thank you for waiting for me everyday by the door shouting "ko ko ding". I wish you will remember how endearing this title is to us. Its stupid to just wish for more time to spend together. Remember how much I would love to read to you bed-time stories, how we fight as shark and dolphin, how I became dong dong chang for you, may I never look back again and say "if only I had more time with you"
At the centre of my heart, its about angels that God placed in my life to challenge for growth, to just give a big smile and sing them a happy song, to just stand up no matter how exhausted I may be to offer a seat, to give a pat and say "Well done", to lend a shoulder to cry on and just shut up, to not say anything but just act upon a need, to speak when no one dares to challenge, to stop and just let others win, to inspire and tell them they too can make a difference,.....
Count my blessings.
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