Sunday, September 30, 2007

Lost Lost Lost.

Attended a talk on Blogging and New Media by 'Rambling Librarian' super cool chap who is just himself sharing on the goodness of blogging. That was 2 weeks back. But somehow the RI teacher case was kind of scary.....

I know its tough to maintain esp with my last posting up in January...LOLLLL... man I probably lost all the online students. Bet they gave up on me liao. Sob sob. anyway its been a terrible terrble week....
Just a sense of being LOST i my life again. (and not becos I just watched Lost)

I sure miss teaching and I miss my dear dear students. My darlings in 2N1, 2E6, 4E1, 4E2, of the past 3 years, and the many many young/old friends in zhss. Yes, friends. THats why I feel so terrrible. U know, for the many wonderful things my students have done for me,,, I reallly realllllllllly missed them so terribly, and I told myself that I woud want to buy them something special on Childrens Day. Well, children s day is here BUT I got nothing but my sorrows.

Do i hate my new post? Actually no... not at all. Its just that I miss my students- they are really why I came to HQ. Cos I saw and believed the greater calling. Calling to make a bigger difference. At least that was what wabbit said I could do and inspired me to do just that last Oct. Yes, that fateful week of just about to resign. She is one cool cool boss. The best really. One who could see the potential and gave me all the room to learn and grow. And I did. I want to be just the leader that students and teachers will look up to. I want to be a Principal one day (at least thats what I said in 2002)... one that will inspire teachers to teach from the heart. One that people will say... "woo hooo... lets just do it". I am sure wabbit was such a P. I could imagine the day she left each of her previous school... how kids would aspire to study for her. For me, I just aspire to be that leader that can inspire teachers to inspire students to be the best they can be..for themselves... and happily learning and having in school. THat education is not about learning to get grades but one that allows ALL to live the dream of Lets Build A world that believed in just the best for all. O yes, grades will then just be so chicken feet. IDeal school...? why not... If I had the balls to declare that aspiration back in 2002, then whats stopping good teachers to aspire that "forbidden track"? 2007.... all the more I see that we need schools to be like such. Yes, end of 2006 was a dreary burnt out, disillusioned by the many initiatives of the "grandfather"... til my mentor came along and showed me the waY.

People are more complex here. THere are more people that seemed to always double guess others' good intentions. Then there are just some others who are so held back by the institutional "rightness" to safe guard much BUT... I just missed days when Thiam Seng, Chye I, Siew Yen and all the most wonderful colleagues helped one another. I remembered, how they celebrated with me when my class did well in the national service learning project. They too was a turning point cos I saw the better side of the selflessness of teachers. We had "the Lets do it for the students sake". When it comes to youth performances, who cares about being laughed at with Mdm Pok POk,,, its all becos we loved our students... and I just am so grateful for those days.

Now that the person I respect most here is leaving, I feel kindof so lost. She wrote, don't let me leaving derail you from becoming a P one day. Well, what can I say but LC, I am grateful for the faith and trust in me. Jabbit has still lots more to learn. I never regret that. And I am happy for her. Happy that she will bring about one of the most dramatic changes to the education in Singapore. Its too selfish to want her to stay on but as an emo subj, I can't help but feel lost.

Can an emo subj ever be a school leader? I just suddenly felt its tough. Wife having body aches cos the baby is coming out soon and I can't do much to lighten her load, friend whose birthday just broke up with partner, LC leaving, a cell group that don't seem to even want to grow, Cell members resigning from their jobs or having bad time at work, .... so much that I can feel lousy about. How about not able to think of a name for my little one, ... or having to work on church 40th anniversary script that I felT so lacking of inspiration.

Lost lost lost.........

I know there are good things I can give thanks for... lets name them!
1. Thank God that my son almost pulled my pants down yesterday when we were cleaning the beach at Lim Chu Kang. I pray he will be an environmentalist too! NO SHARKS FIN pls.

2. Thank God for seeing the delighted face when we took the Dark Tours...LOL I meant DUCK. Talking about Duck tour...man, i so glad met Michelle today. And my girl was holding a boy's hand... U ve grown up and I m so so proud of you too. Wonder if yours will be my first Wedding Invite. LOL....

3. THank God for the wonderful dinner my faithful and loving wife prepared. Man tend not to seem appreciative of the wife's efforts... but one day if u chanced upon this, may u know how much i so lurve u for the Sunday breakfast that u painstakingly prepare for me. I really do.

4. Thank God for being able to join the Innolab team. Thats grace!

5. Thank God for the little one coming on Nov 9... God knew how pained we were when we lost our Last. God is merciful.

6. Thank God that I saw Zixun writing a hello note. Yes, Zixun, Mr Yeo never forget about you and am glad that I heard you are doing better in school. Remember Zixun, don't let your "evil" self get the better of you. I always respect you for the goodness I have see in you.

7. Thank GOd for Yingwen... my 'fav' student since Sec 1. This was a little girl whom I thought will never speak up in class. So I thought. Then she ended up speaking up in another way. LOL. Yingwen, Mr Yeo did you proud. My second article in the PS21 magazine 'Challenge' was also published. hee hee. NOt bad eh.... how can your teacher lose to you. HOWEVER, may I remind you my friend, do well for your As first before you continue writing ok.

8. Glad that I could just talk to Henry today. My dear students, uncle Henry was Mr Yeo's best friend since Sec school and I am just so so proud and glad that he recently got married to a beautiful lady. I always believe that when we honour God, God will honour us. Treasure your friends. Do unto others what you hope others would do unto you.

9. Glad that I just watched the farewell party by 2N again on youtube. It sure brought tears to my eyes. Thank you for making me, just your unique Super Yeo.

10. Thank God that I could stay up tonight to blog. Wabbit said I should write more professionally... man, either I really can't write at all, or I write so much... sigh sigh sigh.

1 comment:

►→♥♥→KathlĂȘĂȘN said...

Hi Mr Yeooooo!
Wow a BIG CONGRATS for ur great accomplishment.. Hehe I am still writing..less frequently though..only when i am free..I am gg for an interview for an sph internship tis thur, wish me luck!

Glad to hear frm u, tis is actually e first time i visit ur blog, can tell that u really put a lot of thought into it. Hehe makes me feel encouraged..juz had a realli bad day after getting back rotten results for two subjects i put in 110% for. Do keep in touch and ALL THE BEST!