Was it my procrastination that led to a lost opportunity?

I was very disappointed with myself last Saturday. An idea that I have been conceiving for months to create a Facilitation Tool kit and market it commercially went 'Boomz' upon realisation that a similar product was released very recently in US. With the past few sessions of workshops for different clients and schools, I realised that there was immense power with non-verbal visualisation that I harness during brainstorming with groups. That said, I was ready to collaborate with a SK who is a pretty cool photographer. We brainstormed several ideas to make this kit a holistic package for various purposes and were excited with how we could develop this commercially. We were ready to submit our joint proposal for a entrepreneur award with funding to prototype our concept. Over the weekend, I felt that my months of excitement and ideas just went down the drain when I read what the newly released package had to offer- the same ideas that I had. Can I re-focus to develop something better? How might I work on the new idea now that I know what are the various resources I have?

Thanks to Kerry Flowers- for your timely dose of humor.
I guess I just have to wait for Noah to come back to pick me up...

Know thy style

One of my personal highlights of 2009 was to be invited to speak in a Global Brain Summit in Vail. After the last couple of workshops/talks in China, Hong Kong and Malaysia, I was wondering if God would be stretching me further in this new role. Yet, I know that with every single presentation I present, the amount of pre-work invested was tremendous. Take for example this talk in Vail. As I recalled, the 5 days prior to arriving in Vail, I was up every single night working and re-working on my slides while giving up on a much needed sleep, not to mention overcoming the jetlag from the 24 hours of flight from Spore to Denver. That said, I knew that my hardwork did payoff afterall as the social red brain was gleaming with joy from the feedback of the participants. Yet, I was searching for something deeper, if God will is for me to bless others with the words I speak. I needed to find an alignment: Who am I really onstage and offstage? What do I have to offer- more than inspiring others with my passion and my ideas?

As I was seeking an answer, a friend offered some insights. In an email conversation, we talked about several issues and learning points. Here's an excerpt from my conversation with a dear friend, Edd Brown (thanks EDD!):

You are a great and enjoyable spirit. Your zest for life is infectious.

You have a great presentation style. Let me quickly say that what I liked is that you took who you are in regular life and put it right up on stage. You were not a different person on stage as many presenters are. You have a natural gift that draws people to you off stage- and you were able to carry it with you on stage.

Off stage, you project a joie de vivre while simultaneously projecting confidence, warmth, competence, passion, respectfulness for others, and a belief in what you are doing. You are able to convey that on stage as well. That is so rare!
(Brothers-in-arm: Joshua, Colin, Edd, Perry, and me)

As I continue to ponder on my style, regardless of the format, I always seek to teach creatively. And what is more important to me is to plan my delivery to not only keep the participants' attention but to design in such a way to cause learning and retention of content to take place.

"Don't just throw the seed - grind it, bake it, slice it, and put a little honey on it." - Charles H. Spurgeon

A prayer of His Fatherly Protection

Before I left for US, I was very anxious and sad that I will be leaving my wife alone to care for the two kids, especially when my domestic helper was granted her well-deserved Hari Raya leave. Yes, I was the undeserving one actually, but the opportunity to speak in an international conference was too good to resist. Yet, as the days drew closer, I was wondering if I was really irresponsible to have accepted the invitation while leaving my dear wife to fight her own battle.

This prayer was from a fellow sister-in-Christ from MOE. It reminded me that our heavenly Father will be there, in whatever circumstances.

Father, I want to thank you for the Dads out there like John. His heart is for his wife and children. Purify him and deepen his love for them as you so often do for Dads when they are away. May he he be faithful to take the time on the plane, in his hotel room to be still before you and hear Your guidance for him.

Be Vanessa's strength. May there be many joyful moments of extra closeness as she takes over the usual tasks done by their helper. May she and her mum draw closer together as they care for the little ones. May this be a chance for Vanessa to increase in ideas and confidence in caring for the kids as is so often the case when there are stretches of 24/7 with them.

Please protect the little ones. Please, by the power of your Holy Spirit, teach John new ways to pray for them as he thinks about them from far away. Please keep them from illness and injury. Thank you for Joshua's spirit of helpfulness and his parents' wisdom in giving him this washing uniform task. May he and his mei mei grow in wisdom, in stature and in favour with You and with people.

In Jesus' Name,
Amen

To Lucy, thank you so much for speaking the prayer straight to my heart. It not only affirmed me then, it also encouraged me to continue to be a good husband and father, for the rest of my life!

Wise words from a poetic friend- Joe Moreira

The following emails from a new friend- Joe Moreira, managing editor of Ocean Geographic, are truly uplifting and amazingly pierced directly into some of my innermost thoughts and emotions. Reading them over and over again somehow mysteriously renewed some aspirations and ignited some of my deepest reflections.

3rd Sept. 09

Hi John!

How lovely to hear from you! Was a tad disappointed when I did not hear from you, for you certainly aren’t from the common ‘civil service’ mould; it’s not flattery bro, it’s the truth and you know it, for you struggle with this ‘mould’ whenever it makes its pass every now and then. Anyway, it was my desire, not your failure and indeed ‘late’ as it were, it is still infinitely better than never. Thank you John

Well you were a refreshing change; no airs, what you see is what you get, full of earnest enthusiasm and not caught in the brownie points syndrome. Well my good man, I’m no sage but perhaps as my dear late mom used to say, ‘like a dog you slog around the clock, but with little to show at the end of it all.’ (in malayalam of course)- and I would respond, ‘for it is not the end yet mom’!

Don’t worry unduly about remembering all the ‘magic’ that we convey with the greatest of sincerity to the world around us. If we do, then we will need to stop at the first ‘magic’. Life I suppose Is about living, not the fear of failing or forgetting. Nature is so kind and well programmed, that when we deviate or falter, she has a way of waking us up or pulling us back, without ever restraining our freedom! Such a wonderful working model given to human kind, but for want of power over another, we keep ignoring or rejecting this natural model of excellence for our own fallible ones of comparatives and competition.

Am in the middle of editing our next issue which must go to print by Saturday – and thus this reply so late in the day. Was working out my talkset for China Airlines which I will record later at 1030 hrs and chanced upon Lou Pearlman, the guy who became the boy band mogul after his success with the Backstreet Boys – responsible for so much ‘success’ and discovering talent that the world would have completely missed; and yet it all started in the evil heart and fraudulent mind of Lou Pearlman! History is littered with such anomalies, but nature judges not. It simply goes on, and evolves. However, humans do.

Being involved now in the ‘environment’ scene I am amused as I’m equally irked sometimes with all these ‘causes and campaigns’ that sprout like mushrooms everywhere. Veiled in goodness, but sourced in mindless fear. Yet to publicly decry this would be equally foolish, which I do declare from personal experience. Being ‘right’ need not necessarily be right. But pragmatism without morals is no better either; then the end will always justify the means however ruthless or cruel. This is not new to you John; I’m merely echoing what I sense in you. We will fail by our own rules; but nature never punishes us; it’s but a perception. She is there to always to redeem us if we will let her; guilt is an alert for the moment inviting us to lift from fear to love, not to live in eternal damnation.

You are good man John with a good head on strong shoulders with a big heart in the right place. Your children will teach you more than you would’ve learnt from scholars and paragons; another one of nature’s quirky gifts. I wish you great joy being the parent.

Cheers mate!
Joe

4th Sept 09

My dear John,

Despair not, your very kind words have redeemed you from my earlier disappointment! Ha x3.

Was rather bushed last night and decided to rest my tired and aging body; and awake this morning to a lovely email from you. Thank you John.

That we allow the greatness within each being, human or otherwise to manifest in our lives is perhaps the fundamental secret of the child that escapes the adult; and we were all children sometime in our lives. Fortunate then you are that this secret has not escaped you.

My congratulations on your new post at the NIE. Rick Warren's (Purpose Driven Church/Life) interpretation of Moses' calling to the burning bush, and God bestowing upon him the powers he needed for the given mission through what he held in his hands....the shepherd's staff, comes to mind. Often while we pursue and strive to reach the glittering stars above, sometimes we forget the beautiful flowers at our feet. Well at least that will not be your folly, for you know what you hold in your hands. My best wishes John!

I came with nothing into this world John, and will probably leave with nothing too; i own nothing. You are free to take and use anything as you wish John; that you have found purpose for my rambling thoughts, i'm honoured as i'm humbled. Enjoy the blogging. In his book, The Element, Ken Robinson's interesting observation of the 10000 hrs or more chalked up by the paragons in any given field, does bear some truth. An erstwhile pathway then to your writing endeavour.


Well my dear friend, before i ramble on again, it leaves me to wish you well and enjoy the gift of parenthood, which is no accident. Much awaits, and it starts with the little act of recognising the greatness in everything around us. The great day ahead awaits the great person who chooses to live it. Live it bro!

Cheers
Joe

Vanessa's 34th Birthday disaster

The cake above looks like it went through quite a bit of knocking and slamming. Thankfully for the plastic wrapper around it, the shape is still pretty much intact.

Vanessa needed to visit her client in KL and attend the client's company function on her 34th Birthday. Joshua and I decided to follow her to KL, to celebrate her birthday. And to give her a surprise. In the end, it was more of a surprise to me than to her really.

While Van was busy meeting her client and preparing for the dinner, Joshua and I were enjoying ourselves in a movie marathon in the cinema beside the hotel. It was definitely much cheaper to watch movie in KL than in Singapore. We watched Harry Potter first followed by Transformers 2. In between we had Kenny Rogers for dinner and my, have the standard dropped so badly in KL that will be my last Kenny Rogers in Malaysia. (interestingly, my first ever Kenny Rogers was in KL more than 10 years ago and I will always remember the first taste of the fantastic corn muffins) After dinner, Joshua and I bought a cake and ordered to a bouquet of flowers for Van. Now, the disaster began when he fell asleep during the second movie and simply refused to wake up. Poor me had to carry him and pick up the cake and the flowers. Alas, luck was not on my side. The door that linked the hotel and the shopping centre was locked after 10pm. Man, I never felt more burdened then that evening where I had to carry both my son as well as the gifts. After walking round and round to find the next shortest route back to the hotel, I even pondered whether I should throw away some of the baggages, yes, even Josh. LOL....

Finally I found the exit and was so thankful for a moment when I saw a cab. However, that idiotic taxi driver simply refused to drive us back to the hotel as he claimed that it was only right behind. Man, who says CASH is KING??? Rubbish! Although deceptively close by, the two buildings are not exactly well connected and I had to make such a big detour. Finally, I was so exhausted I had to halt a car in the middle of the road to beg them to drive us round the corner.

Strangest thing of all was, Joshua throughout my agony refused to wake up and the moment we alighted at the hotel, he opened his eyes. I felt like strangling him in that instance.

Of course, the rest was history. And from the photos, you probably guessed that he was the 'shiokest' of us all.

A confession: Trapped in a world of Self-Deception

This entry is dedicated to a special Angel- BH.


Dear me

The Petronas Twin Towers of in KL. 4 am on a cold Tuesday morning. A cluttered mind.

Think God has put this work trip for a greater purpose- not so much to mediate the tension at home but for you to take time to reflect, and plan how you should be a better person. You have been terribly 'lazy' and an irresponsible soul have you? You do realised that the you have unknowingly fulfilled the lust of the flesh. What has gone into your mind, resulting in not looking after this body- yes, lazy and self-indulgence.

Mo Mo wrote about his attempts to reach out to the lost souls. You were humbled in your deepened understanding that love and forgiveness go hand in hand. Thanks to an Angel- BH, you realised (and thankfully admit) that you have long forgotten the sweetness of truth- God's words. Face it, for the past months, you have lived a lie- a self deceiving illusion that you still know the truth. Honestly, the indulgence of your life- internet, food, sleep, and even work, have made you become more estranged from the word of our heavenly father.

BH's sharing of his divorce led you to realise that you need to start taking charge again. You don't need an Adam Khoo- you need to go back to God's words! The growing pride so silently creeped into your life that you thought everything was fine. But wait, your family relationships took a strain, and you even lost consciousness of watching your eating habits. These were clear signs that something is not quite right- something inside you. The little sins that so easily slipped into your life had become a heavy burden. For example, the slip of the tongue with an easy curse coming out were granted an OK. That led to conveniently finding more excuses to "fulfil the lust of the flesh" (Gal 5:16)

You yearned once again for the promise of being able to "Stand fast therefore in the liberty wherewith Christ hath made us free, and be not entangled again with teh yoke of bondage" (Gal 5:1) At the heart of it all, you are humbled to know that the Father beckons to draw you back, to enjoy his forgiveness, and restore the relationship with Him.

At the departure gate on Sunday, the tearful beast in you was shouting out WHY IS IT THAT EACH TIME BEFORE I TRAVEL, THERE WILL BE SO MUCH UNHAPPINESS AT HOME? Think, it all started with a major breakdown with your father when you left for Hawaii in Sec two. Then the spiral cycle seemed to repeat thereafter. Perhaps, the emptiness of leaving home and stress of being all alone accounts for part of the reason. You felt so upset that you felt hypocritical to profess that you miss your family. Yet, you were really a good husband and father, the least you could do was to be a better help to your tired companion.

Right... so you questioned the value of LOVE. Rightly so. What should love really should be? Did you really "walk in love, as Christ also hath love us" (Eph 5: 2) Thank God you were humbled when you challenged your 'loving' assumptions - by the benchmarks spelled out in 1 Cor 13, clearly you were in a state of self-denial.

Love is patient; love is kind and envies no one. Love is never boastful, nor conceited, nor rude; never selfish, not quick to take offense. There is nothing love cannot face; there is no limit to its faith, its hope, and endurance.

At first you blamed SA Tan. You claimed it was his way of disrupting my preparation to lead worship. (thank God you didn't give in and walk away that Sunday morning) The blame game is always so easy- just point your fingers. But the Spirit was gentle to rebuke and used the song 'People Need the Lord' to remind you that - YOU need the Lord. Interesting too that the sermon reminded you that when God binds a man and a woman in marriage, the Word remains in them.

As the sun is about to rise, you realised that you do cherish this moment. May you always remember that just as our Father extends his arm of forgiveness, may you never forget Paul's invitation to "Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh." Gal 5: 16


Thank you for being honest and courageous

yourself


p.s. The pic was specially selected as a reminder that the sting of hurt to your vain ego during YOGOC wkshop. LOL!

My Paper Presentation "Incorporating Thinking Tools to Enhance Facilitation of PBL"

Friday 12th June 09-

Random Thoughts on my very First Paper Presentation

In preparation:

First paper presentation- Incorporating Thinking Tools in PBL. Republic Poly's PBL conference on What are we Learning about Learning. Revisited the slides at 3am in the morning. Added TLLM's PETALS to provide context. Helps a little to add some credibility to mention that this was a refined work building upon my Masters project.Re-capped what Irene and I have envisioned to do with our paper. Included thoughts on future steps with currrent research projects with NHHS on metacognition. Irene's lovely slides saved the day.

Stress and Tension:

Very mind boggling experience presenting to a sea of researchers. Attending the earlier concurrent sessions were not exactly most ideal in preparation for my own session. Indications by senior management of Temasek Poly's, RP's SPAS, Australian's school administration attending my session of course, added to the stress level. Was highly critical and skeptical of some presentations. Validity and Reliabilty issues. Rita Roop was definitely one good cheer and a good dose of encouragment! Other presenters' weaknessses = my strengths/ For fear of 'difficult' questions- maximise my 25 min sharing so that less questions could be asked? Almost freaked out when I only prepared 40 copies of my presentation handouts. Student assistance helped print 30 more. My tag with the following - Ministry of Education, Singapore - definitely did not help. A Bishan Park Sec principal said, "I have been waiting for your presentation so that I can use it with my teachers". Glad that the two presentations before me were not too bad. Glad that I inserted a nice photo of me and josh with my email address to 'cushion' any difficult questions at the end. Doesn't help being the final presentation of the day. Encouraging email from Sue: "It will be great! Enjoy!!!!"

The Moment:

Took to the stage - trying to look confident. My jokes went "plapped" - prob too 'localised' for an international audience. Could not understand what the Indonesian was asking. Intended some long pauses during the presentation just to see the reactions of the Think my energy and enthusiam helped to wake up some of the sleepy heads. Was wondering: what on earth was she busily writing even though she had my slides. Glad that I pre-empt with statement: these are my thoughts as a practitioner with much room for further research. Plan to maximise my sharing was great. TIMES UP placard was flashed repeated when I was on slide 20 out of 28. First comment from audience: "Thank you for the very rich sharing...." Question One: Would you use all the tools in one go (my immediate thoughts: was that a trick question?) Question Two: Does your tool give everyone a fair chance to contribute. (glad I gave an anecdotal reply with how the affinity diagram gave a introverted student a chance to tell of his story) One of the toughest questions: Can your thinking tools be used for RP's 'One Day, One Problem' model? (definitely food for thought)

Thereafter:

People rushed forward to ask for a copy of my soft-copy slides. To give or not to give? I wished they engage me with more "tell me more about your ideas" question. The Australian P asked, are there more tools? The Malaysian presenter asked, how up-to-date are your tools and which of these were more business related? Another comment: "it would have been even better if your session was for a longer workshop so that we can learn more about the tools." Natasha- An old long-lost classmate came forward and waited patiently for me. Sue commented ang mo asked "so where is the control group" (my response: ??!!*)@I#@)$)_@). A fitting compliment: A very thought provoking piece with some nice contemporary ideas. Felt a sense of "lost" and "wonder" Got a sms from Irene: How goes?

Wasn't it a delightful experience?

The Dragon is Thirsty

With my usual gung-ho spirit, I innocently accepted the assignment early this year to speak to different key personnels of various enterprises in Hong Kong and China. Before I left, I told Joshua and Joanna that daddy is only gonna be away for 5 very short days, yet deep down, this verbal assurance left me wondering if that was really so.

A very humbling learning experience indeed, a friend commented that I was flying in aeroplanes and taking trains as if I was taking a cab ride from Buona Vista to Punggol. Indeed, I arrived Hong Kong by noon on the 16th March and delivered my maiden presentation on 'Innovation and Creativity: Unlock the Creative Potential of your Company to Overcome Economic Challenges' by 2pm. The challenge of addressing a group of senior executives from companies like 3M, China Aeronautical, Sky Technology, Fujikon International, etc, was simply mind-boggling. That said, in my opinion, it was a good start basing on the responses and feedback of the participants. The other comfort, it was delivered in English. By 7pm, I was rushed to the Hong Hum train station for a 3 hours journey up to Guangzhou. The journey continued with rushing from airport to airport on a daily basis from Chongqin then to Beijing and Tianjin (both cities in one day) and then to Shenzhen before rushing through customs back in Hong Kong 5 days later.



That said, I must admit, it was a good stretch, in more ways than one. Not least of which, it has at least afforded this wide eyed 34 year-old a ringside view of China's rapid changes. Compared to my previous trips to China, the landscape has very much changed in a short span of 5 years. It was no longer so much a culture shock as a business shock, particularly in their strong business models and quality management matters. Today, the business environment in the cities I spoke in has advanced so rapidly, it left me wondering how long would it take for the whole of China to advance beyond what Singapore has accomplished in the past 40 years.

The biggest (and most horrific) challenge is to speak fluently in Mandarin. Thank the good Lord that ACS had kept C in the Anglo-CHINESE School, despite how ACS-ians are infamously known for our competency (or lack of) in our mother tongue. Thank God for a wife who knows my every weakness and thus got me a Bestas electronic handheld dictionary on the birthday this year. Everywhere I went, I felt like it was the most precious 武功密集. I was religiously translating and rehearsing my talking points every waking hour, especially after some vehement feedback. With all honesty, I value 'honest' evaluations like "老师有时用中文不能完全表达意思", or some even more blunt 'request' to "改善语言表达能力". Apart from the fact that the Chinese speak speak Putonghua, I struggled constantly to un-learn translating words from English phrases.

The consultancy firm that hired me assured me that the task would be an easy one since we Singaporeans are highly regarded for our "law-abiding-ness" and our strategic East meets West approaches. I was shortlisted for the task primarily because of my Masters from US as well as my other business ventures and experiences. Yet, during my in-depth discussions with the participants, it was obvious that the knowledge I had may not be directly applicable when dealing with the mainland businesses (less resistance though from HK). The 'stretch' here takes on a new level where I need to constantly adapt and adjust to meet the local needs and their expectations. In addition, acceptance did not come automatically even after "boasting" about my credentials and experiences in businesses. Some outrightly pointed out that my my young and boyish looks (o Lord... do preserve my youth) was an instant disadvantage and one even jokingly commented that I ought to dye my hair white the next time I return.

Jokes aside, I thank the good Lord for the opportunity to witness how Singaporean needs to open our eyes and be less complacent of our achievements. What we achieved in the past decade, in my opinion can be easily superseded by a double or even triple jump with how fast the China's gates are opening up to the rest of the world. I have not ready solutions to how we can even try to 'catch up'... new innovative programmes/models? Education as a fast way to build capacity? Government to take the lead to make bolder political moves for further partnerships? A friend I confided in even suggested that it may even come a day where we are imported as 'foreign talents' to be chauffeurs, tutors, nannies to the Dragon babies.

For now, I thank God for the an overall positive feedback considering my many fears and weaknesses. On a scale of 1 to 10, the report card says it all for the following seminars. (Shenzhen had a different feedback form)

Course applicability 内容适用性
Hong Kong- 8.09
Guangzhou- 7.47
Chongqin- 7.5
Beijing- 8.63
Tianjin- 8.00

Content organization 内容编排
Hong Kong- 8.27
Guangzhou- 7.31
Chongqin- 7.94
Beijing- 8.75
Tianjin- 7.71

Activities, Discussion, Practice & Case Study 活动、讨论、练习及案例
Hong Kong- 8.55
Guangzhou- 7.5
Chongqin- 8
Beijing- 8.75
Tianjin- 8.41

Further Comprehension 对内容有深入认识
Hong Kong- 7.91
Guangzhou- 7.06
Chongqin- 8.38
Beijing- 9.00
Tianjin- 7.35

Presentation Skill 表达技巧
Hong Kong- 8.81
Guangzhou- 7.83
Chongqin- 8.00
Beijing- 9.00
Tianjin- 8.06

Ability To Simulate Participants' Involvement / Interactivity 促进学员参与
Hong Kong- 8.45
Guangzhou- 8.25
Chongqin- 8.19
Beijing- 9.25
Tianjin- 8.94

Applicability to Business Needs课程适合工作需要
Hong Kong- 8.09
Guangzhou- 6.97
Chongqin- 7.06
Beijing - 8.00
Tianjin- 8.53

And since it was a seminar conducted in Chinese, the following feedback were really very heartening....

- 觉新颖但广告意识强

- 创新的灵感来自于身边的任何细节，善于思考

- 很适合目前创新型发展的理念，建设细致的工具和技巧

- 通过互动引出结论，道理应让人留下银翔

As my good old school motto says it best...The best is yet to be

愿一切荣耀与赞美归给上帝！

(just wondering when I will ever be able to start blogging in chinese.... LOL)

My EQ... on Facebook? QUite accurate indeed

Facebook has a certain magnetic appeal in getting people to respond online... the frightening thing about it- to share (or more explicitly-to make public) private personal information. Yet, highly intrigued to find out whats my EQ- its an easy trap to 'play along' ????

John took the quiz What is your EQ (Emotional Intelligence Quotient)? and the result is Your EQ is 128

You usually have it going on emotionally, but roadblocks tend to land you on
your butt.On an average day, you're quite happy, together, and content. You live
your life well.Your emotions aren't always stable, but you can go along with the
ups and downs pretty well.You tend to be motivated, energetic, focused, and
level headed.You see the world pretty rationally, and you don't tend to over
dramatize things. When things are bad, you know they eventually have to get
better.

Whats ahead?

I am at a new crossroad of my life... stuck in search of new directions, nothing to propel me towards any specific doors of opportunity (especially in times like these), I lay in silence praying to my Father who has guided me faithfully all these 34 years of my life.

The following paragraph from the http://parallelmind.wordpress.com/ touched my heart as I thought of what would essentially be considered of value years down the road.

The new paradigm is one of individual creativity and freedom. Creativity
and freedom cannot exist inside an environment of fear; they can only grow
inside a matrix of love and openness. The new paradigm will not have the kind of
security that comes from amassing great stores of money, or from building a
fortress against unseen enemies. Instead, we will find security in our
relationships and the quality of our lives. Our assets will be counted not in
cold hard cash, but in the measure of our integrity, in the health of our
children and society, in the quality of our goods and services, in the
inventiveness of our ideas, in the consistency of our friendships, and in the
honesty of our partnerships.

The story of a pen...and ugly people

I held up a pen ... about to write.

Suddenly this pen remnded me of a story: one that illustrated the many facades of man's thoughts and the complexities around what kindness means.

Recently I witness something that was very disturbing in a hawker centre. A crippled and slightly autistic young lady was moving around slowly in Kovan selling pens for a dollar each. I bought a pen and continued to observe her and her interactions with others around.

Fact is, I got increasingly upset with how some unkind people simply shoo-ed her away, the way you would react to an irritate fly. One lady even turned her son's face away as the child wondered how they ought to respond to her. Did the girl deserve such a degrading response as even she suffered from leprosy? In her quiet ways, she was not persistent in selling her products and she simply walked away, expressionless. In my weak attempt to help her, I intentionally stepped forward before that mother and tried to donate some money to the girl. She surprised me with the rejection of the donation and pushed a pen into my hand. Was it blatant ignorance to my act of sympathy or a deliberate act to preserve her pride? None-the-less, I respected her decision.

Upon reflection, I only wished that even as there may be black sheeps among us, the kind hearted Singaporean spirit will prevail to discern and reach out to those who are genuinely in need. Yet in my heart, I was wondering if we still understand what makes our society a gracious one.

Out of curiosity, I decided to text some friends by sms to hear their point of view. Below were their replies:

My wife: Don't be sad. Just help within our own means cos maybe they have met so many to determine who's genuine.

Mr GY: Good on you that you cared! Take it easy. I guess those people are stressed by current climate.

Ms CL: She wants to do real work and so will not want to take money without selling her product. Yes, people are ugly and they need to know God. I would say buy pen if that gives you peace. Meeting people's needs is the first step in sharing the gospel in a practical way.

Ms SN: John, you encouraged me with your act. Ugly Singaporeans are everywhere. Even we are guilty at times. We just dun c the underbelly of S'pore enough. At times, I feel so lost too that I realised I am so unreal. Can't take the mask off, I am ugly too...

Ms YH: Despite her handicap, she is making a honest living. Well, you can't change those who rejected her but at least you did make a difference in her life.

Mr CH: What makes you think she really needs your $? Maybe she is part of a big syndicate? How much can a selling a pen, or a packet of tissue help her? Sometimes kindness does not pay. Maybe the people saw your act and may think otherwise about your intentions. Is that girl pretty?

The above responses were simply overwhelming. Not only because of the contrasting range of emotions and thoughts, but how a single situation may provoke very different perspectives. Indeed, this is a case of how natural checks and balances are already in place to maintain the core of our social fibre. Perhaps thats where individual creativity of making new connections can better our society as a whole.

Visionary thinking

My morning quiet time led me to reflect the importance of vision. Hybels (1994) offers 3 definition of vision as an important character quality.

Vision is

1. a God-given ability to see posible solutions to the everyday problems of life;
2. the ability to see beneath the surface of people's lives
3. the ability to catch a glimpse of what God wants to do through your life if you dedicate yourself to Him. (Hybel, 1994, p.23)

Indeed, it was refreshing to study the biblical context of vision through the conversation of Jesus with the rich young man in Matthew 19:16-30. Questions that triggered me to think about my vision include:

• Do I see myself obeying all of the commandments?
• Am I willing to give up everything, i.e., my earthly possessions, to bless the poor and/or to submit to follow Christ as he beckoned with "Then come, follow me"?
• At what cost?
• Do I put my faith in God and fully surrender to the hope of "with God all things are possible" (Mat 19:26)?
• Am I willing to be the last as Jesus reminded the disciples that the "many who are first will be last and many who are last will be first" (Mat 19:30)?
• Does Jesus see me as a potential heir of the eternal life?
• How do I honour God in the way I live my life?

Hybel provided an interesting analogy that if we fix our eyes on our problems, then its like spending our whole life spinning our wheels and cursing the mud. Conversely, if we cultivate vision and explore ways to deal with them, then "not only will you avert all sorts of discouragement, but you will also discover how much creativity and wisdom God wants to give his children who look to Him for help." (1994, p.23). Praise be to God for allowing us to come to Him and trust Him to open or close doors as we follow the vision He plants in us.

The promise that Jesus provided points towards a simple formula- Create the vision by claiming that all things are possible with God. Ask Him for wisdom and head out in faith.

Reference:

Hybel, B. (1994). Character: Who you are when no one's looking. England: InterVersity Press.

Tipping the Balance of Time Management

The encouragement below is from Stavros- my room mate back in Buffalo. A remarkable young chap who joined the program right after his marriage and straight off his honeymoon. I shared with my Stavros my recent dilemma of finding a right balance with work, family, masters project and time for personal reflection. Stavros rightly pointed out how creativity is needed to manage this turbulent state of doubt and insecurity. For lack of a better picture, this is one of the most memorable moments we shared with Nate in your parents' place and the wonderful spread of great Italian breakfast... Thanks Stavros for your constant blessings!



When I'm feeling sad i think of a lesson I learned from Tony Robbins. He says that at any given point in time we are making 3 decisions;

1. What am I focusing on?
2. What does it mean?
3. What am I going to do about it?
   

If you find that you are feeling overwhelmed and focusing on that, then you must decide what that means to you. Maybe it means that you are in the process of making great strides in your career, or maybe it means that you are making a sacrifice of your time for other priorities like family. So what are you going to do about it? will you remember that it it is all worth it and give your self a boost of energy. Will you determine that you need more reflection time and take it for yourself?

Just remember, it is all up to you. You make your own reality, the universe is merely conspiring to bring it to you. Choose wisely and consciously. you deserve the best.

At times I also feel a little overwhelmed by this transition. It is sometimes daunting to think i have no car, no job, not even a bed right now. But for the moment I am choosing to focus on the challenge at hand and the rewards it will bring. the fact that i'm scared only means that i'm scared and that it is perfectly normal. So what i'm going to do aboout it is keep winning small battles. Get the cable to work. Find a car. Make a few phone calls about work. Keep making progress on my school work.

I hope i can keep a strong mind about it. I pray for your & my best outcomes and journeys.

Reply to my blessed friend: Thanks for the timely reminder. Yet, if you may allow me too to encourage you...you have a supportive wife, great parents and a lovely Bungalow on St Thomas Island! Wonder why my thoughts drifted into seeing you as the Next James Bond! LOL

Will I become too distracted to Listen

Perhaps the pace of society goes by so fast, we sublimely loose some of the most valuable things around our lives. One of which I notice is that we rarely give or recieve the gift of truly listening. Yet, if we claim that 'time is the new currency' then does that mean that both time and money are precious in our sight? I think its not about the money, but rather about the time commitment required.

I recieved a call recently from an ex-student's mother. Over the phone she cried bitterly on how she failed as a mother. She struggled as a divorcee to do her best at work so that she could provide the material needs for her son. Her struggle led me to recall another online conversation with a dear friend in UK. I quote: "Yes, communication in families and now across the world (facilitated by the Internet) should underpin the change that is coming. Market forces alone will not fix things and adequately respond to those societal ills to be found across the globe." (http://thinkx.ning.com/profile/JohnYeo#chatter-2083458:Comment:5233)

As I heard my inner voice fearing a future where I myself may blindly become estranged to my children, I stopped to reflect what are the interventions I can proactively take to prevent that from happening today. The birth of 'Structured Fun Learning' (see entry of 28 Aug in http://joanna3117.blogspot.com/) with Joshua was in my opinion successful with him looking forward to the time we spend together each evening.

This came about I started asking myself from the pespective of a repentent father who had been uninvolved in my children's growth. The questions I postulated led to deeper thoughts..

• How has the gap between me and my family widened?


• What went on in their lives and who are those they choose to confide to?


• HOw often do I spend one-on-one time together?


• What were some of the best conversations I've had with them?


• Did I help them to understand the critical issues/dilemmas of thier lives?


• What will I say 10 years later when we step out of the house in the morning?


• What are some of the best conversations I've had with them?


• What did I learn about them from the small talks and did I "hear" the deeper issues that could have been on his/her mind?


• What was unique about that time together?


• Why was it easy for me to talk?


• How can I create an atmosphere appropriate for parent-child bonding?


• How can I proactively plan for interaction time together?


• How can I be more responsible and how do I push for accountability?

I am glad I pondered upon the above questions. The rules, though seemingly simple, are fundamental in shaping work-life balance. The harsh reality of survival, tends to tip this balance to a side that may bring about irreversible consequence. May the wisdom of the Holy Spirit lead us husbands and/parents into daily knowledge of the importance to just stop and listen.

My Vision, Mission & Anchors

“… the creative person also is a self-actualized person – a fully functioning,
mentally healthy, forward-growing human being who is also using his talents
to become what he is capable of becoming.” Maslow, 1968

My vision is to spread the cause of creativity to empower myself and others to live a more purposefully driven life!

My mission follows for the next five years to enjoy the liberation and fulfillment by explicitly thinking out of the box to create greater fulfillment and meaning through building strong connections with God, people, education, parenting, and blogging- deeply centred on values.

Having articulated my vision and philosophy, I have encapsulated them into the following 3 states of personal ‘mindfulness’ (Boyatzis & McKee, 2005):

• Consciousness- Self-actualization: To enjoy the process of deliberating, working through challenges, and building small steps of successes by bringing ideas into fruition;
• Connections - Synthesis and meaning making: Through collaborations and co-creations by strengthening relationships and driving new directions of work both within the Ministry as well as in personal areas by helping others to see ‘new meaning’ of common interest;
• Communication- Simonton’s 5th P of Persuasion: To be the catalyst that help other discover “ideas that are so good that they change the ways others think” (Runco, 2007) through networking, curriculum partnerships and blogs.

Salt & Light of the World

Matthew 5:13-16 (NIV)
You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses
its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for
anything, except to be thrown out and trampled by men.

You are the light of the world. A city on a hill
cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl.
Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house.
In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good
deeds and praise your Father in heaven.

A friend shared this with me ..."me pp may think that i am very stupid to let my bosses know where i am gg...and even shared with one of them abt my depression last yr and it was through God's grace tt i recovered. XX once told me tt she's very surprised tt i could be very open cos she no longer can trust anyone......i just felt tt by sharing i can also proclaim my faith, let other pp know how God has worked on and healed me...... "

I was encouraged by her trust in God. This was my reply to some of her concerns. I know I went through this phase of struggle just a few days back and God sent my own wife to encourage me too.

" Its a heavy rain cloud over your shoulders and I know that though the storm will come, once passed, you have grown as a person with what adversity will do. Think about a cup half full or half empty.... you may currently be filled with water. But only half full. What if I pour in another half cup of concentrated hot healing herbal fragrant tea. The analogy is how I see change especially to that of an uncertain future. There are just too much unknowns in life and thats why God never leaves us alone to bear all these heavy decisions- and thats why u have ** and us.

About being open as a person, that is how you -and even myself- our preferred way to engage the world, where our energy naturally flow to associate with people. Look at how Joseph the dreamer goes around to tell his family about his dreams. Yet the outcome was a betrayer by his brothers. But that was his immediate future. We may be hurt like others and *** is absolutely right. Yet, God honoured Joseph's faithfulness and used his talents -after many times of "failing" in life- and rose him to be a Pharaoh. Thus, we can only ask God- what is his plans for us. Trial and temptation may come, and we sure will fall, but thats where our faith will take us to a place where He knows whats best for us. And with each step, as we celebrate the small successes of experiencing His grace, we can testify his victory in our lives. Yes, I am looking forward to coming back.

Two days back, I sms Van to tell her how overwhelmed I am with all the assignments. She replied "Don't give up. Whatever difficult times and impossible it is, we have coped for the past 7 weeks. There is no mountain too big God cannot move it. (though I felt my paper assignments were even heavier than mountains). YOu can do it and will be back next week. Why don't you go out for some fun (I am not sure if she understands what this "liberation" can do to me...hee hee) Lonely and freedom days going to be over soon. (interesting how she paradoxically juxtaposed the two...hmmmm... sounds like what I will think to myself on the eve of my wedding day) We love you. Thank God Joanna is better already."

Our God is Jehovah Jireh.

A poem of quiet comtemplation

Surrounded by the beautiful majestic buildings built in the 1800s
o did my spirit sailed as I sat quietly by the Hudson River.

The stillness of Hudson river beckons me into deep thoughts

as I wondered, why did it have to separate two cultures-

of the old town of Troy and the clamor of Albany.

Yet as I lay ashore my dreams of yonder days

like the river, my heart was quiet, lonely, and pained.

A deep longing desire lingers....

Above photo from http://inkbluesky.wordpress.com/2007/02/10/river-calm-wallpaper-immigrant-painter-thomas-cole-madness-and-intelligence-linked/

Historically, Sir Stamford Raffles- founder of modern Singapore, was also part of the East India Company.

Interestingly read from the net a story of the Hudson river- extracted from http://flickr.com/photos/91454858@N00/2337508954 (beautiful shots of the river in this page too)

"It is named for Henry Hudson, an Englishman sailing for the Dutch East India Company, who explored it in 1609....The Hudson River, called Muh-he-kun-ne-tuk in Mahican, the Great Mohegan by the Iroquois,or as the Lenape Native Americans called it in Unami, Muhheakantuck, in Tuscarora, is a river that runs through the eastern portion of New York State and, along its southern terminus, demarcates the border between the states of New York and New Jersey. The Father of Waters would seem to have been known to many tribes by names more or less similar to that which it bears to-day. It is no doubt true—happily true—that very many of the streams of North America bear Indian names. But these have very generally been given to them by the whites, and were borrowed from the tribes living on their banks at the date of the discovery. The waters received the names of the clans hunting on their shores. The red people had no doubt names of their own for some of the streams in which they fished, but it is probable that these were applied to certain reaches only of the rivers most familiar to them. For some of the important lakes the Iroquois certainly had names of their own, for instance, Caniaderi-Guarunté, or, The lake gate of the country, for what is now Lake Champlain, and Andiatarocté, or, Here the lake closes, for Lake George. These significant phrases, as applied to those waters, have been clearly ascertained.When explorers and colonists crossed the ocean they gave, as a rule, the names of the wild tribes to the rivers on which they met them. Very few received European names. The exceptions on the Atlantic coast number just half a dozen; the St. Lawrence, the Hudson, the Delaware, the James, the Ashley and the Cooper. Of these only one, the Hudson, recalls, the discoverer.Strictly speaking, however, Hendrick Hudson, could not claim the full honors of a discoverer”…………….

Ultimate Greyhound Experience

I have been in US since June 8 and what happened yesterday would probably have been the most memorable incident for this trip (thus far!). As I made a detour to Denver to visit some friends down at Emergenetics Int., I decided to stay on to fully immerse myself in the Rockies experience of my life time.

I was back in Denver after travelling with the Harold, Vice President EG to Branby and Steamboat to conduct training for the leaders in these districts, I was ready to embark on my own to head up again to the mountains, by myself. And then, the excitement began. To be as factual as I can, this was what happened on the 26/6.

• 11.00am : Bought ticket to proceed to Glenwood Springs. Bus was to leave Denver station at 12.01pm and arrive at my holiday destination at 3.30pm (so I hoped).




• 11.30am: I placed my luggage in the queue and sat beside a new friend- Chen Bo, 陈博. He is 22 years old, just completed his college with Brown University (one of the Ivy Leagues)- with a scholarship by Oracle, he came from China to study Computer Science for the past 4 years. This young led had quite an adventure as he was tugging 3 huge luggages- of which he shared that he kept a DESKTOP and belongings of the past 4 years, as he travelled around US for holiday.




• 11.35am: Then came a dainty old lady who sat beside us and kept talking, singing and chatting-with herself. I volunteered to help her put her flowery 2 wheel bag so that she could reserve her place behind mine. Her bag which I handled has a interesting link later so let me call her 'Mdm Y'.




• 11.45am: Chen Bo rushed to see if he could get himself up the bus heading for San Francisco (oh yes, its a total of 19 hours of bus ride from Denver) I was glad he managed to get a last minute ticket. I quickly helped him to pull his luggage to the bus. However, as he only had one bus tag, he needed to run in to request for another. As I overheard a Mexican lady running in to buy that ONE last ticket too, I decided to help him push his luggage into the cabin first ... being a typical kia-su Singaporean, I do know whats best in that dire situation. Just as I was about to succeed, that lady ran forward and shouted, "I got it, I got it" Immediately the bus driver pushed out Chen Bo's bag and exclaimed, "I am full". Poor Chen Bo was still at the counter behind as the bus left the station. My heart went out to him when he ran back and all he could say was " What the F@#*...." He then realised that as the last ticket was 'open' for purchase, both counters proceeded to sell it at the same time to Chen Bo and the Mexican lady. They then got him a ticket on my bus that will head to Los Angeles thereafter he needed to change to San Francisco. I was filled with pity thinking it would be quite a ride for him.




• 12:05pm : Back to my queue, I helped Chen Bo join me as the line was getting realllllly long. I introduced him to my 2 new friends. Jacob was this fabulous man from Florida as well as this Chinese Filipino. Jacob is really one of the most friendly Americans I have seen so far. Our early conversation led me to admire how he gave up a 10 years post as a manager for Continental Airways and decided to rough it out by travelling around US and took on odd-time jobs to travel and earn a living. The Chinese Filipino worked for a company that service hotels and manage their servers. At the same time, Mdm Y-the old lady behind me sat on the floor and pulled out her bra from under her shirt and threw it straight into a nearby bin. I caught it and frowned as I quickly looked away.




• 12.30pm : The bus had not arrived. I continued to chat with my new group of travelling buddies. Jacob who has worked with the American transport system mourned that we should be glad if the bus can arrive within the next hour. He shared of his experience when the bus was full of passengers but at the transit with change of drivers, the other driver never turned up until 12 hours later. In my mind, my first response was , "Lord, have mercy...."



• 1.20pm : The bus finally arrived. Driver looked friendly. Passengers were relieved as we boarded the bus. After we were nicely settled, up came a big size man with long beard and long hair. He made his first impression as he called out while walking down the aisle "Who is the lucky one to sit beside me".. my eyes darted him as he moved to the back and sat with the rowdy group of teenagers. They loved him instantly as they were swearing and talking aloud. He was THE lead character so let me call him 'Mr X'.




• 2.45pm : Out of nowhere, Mr X shouted out from the back, "This is one of the most beautiful part of the Rockie mountain..." the driver reminded him to keep quiet as passengers were resting. Mr X continued and proclaimed his great love for America. Driver pulled over at the side at highway 70 and Mr X walked forward and called out "Whats your F*#$*ing problem..." The rest of the bus kept really quiet. I was scared.




• 3.10pm : Mr X shouted again, "Does anyone have gums... the children here have popping ears" No one responded and he continued shouting til someone offered.




• 3.30pm : Driver made a surprise announcement- he had to pull up at Frisco. He informed that the belt for the air conditioning was broken and had to call for the mechanic. A mechanic needed to drive all the way from Vail to repair and may delay for another 1.5 hours. The bus all mourned then in unison. Pulling up at a gas station with Wendy's, my buddies and I decided to dine. While waiting for rest to get off the bus, Mr X walked past and commented to this Korean lady who was travelling by herself, "Hey pretty, you wan to have fun with me?" She ignored him and he sneered.




• 4.00pm : We heard some quarrelling across the store next door. Apparently, old Lady Mdm Y made some racist remark to the Afro-American and I was told in her feat of angered, she....bared her saggy breast. She was then chased out. At the same time, someone came over and told us that the driver has called in the police to handle Mr X.




• 4.10pm : Police came and interrogated Mr X, with Driver and some others surrounding. We watched the drama from inside the store. We were told that Mr X was drunk, with his liquor kept inside the coke bottle that he was holding throughout the trip. When he opened his bag, to my horror, there was a PISTOL in there. Imagination ran wild with "What ifs...." Finally Mr X was gone.... to my great relief.... so I thought.




• 4.45pm : The bus was repaired and ready to go on. At this moment, I saw Mdm Y's purple sweater outside lying on the rock and I called out to driver that Mdm Y was missing. At the moment, someone spotted Mdm Y in a far away spot. She called out to Mdm Y but Mdm Y just walked on, in the direction away from the bus. "What the heck ..." I thought and I got off the bus to run after her. I was glad I caught up... half panting half shouting, I called out "Hey madam, the bus is leaving, ... come on, lets go" She took me by surprise by hiding behind a trunk and called back, "I heard you.... get lost... I am not going back... go go ....." Momentarily, I was at a lost, "Should I stay or should I go?" If I were to grab her by force, I could be arrested for sexual harassment. The earlier scene with Mr X and the police was not what I want for myself. "This is America.... " and Michael Buble's song of 'Home' came into my mind, so helplessly, I ran back to the bus. Everyone greeted me outside and asked what happened. I only could recount what she said. People started speculating what could have happened, as they recalled what happened to her in the store earlier.




• 5.10pm : After discussion, they formed yet another search party that consisted of a tall Canadian man, a young American lady and two bouncy teenagers. After 10 min, they returned with no news of her. My heart sank, and I happened to catch a piercing glare from another passenger. She must have thought I murdered her and threw her body into the swamp. "God.....save us" The funny thing was some of us started wondering if this whole episode was filmed or were we part of 'Lost- season III'. This was far more dramatic than we could anticipate.




• 5.30pm : Another police car arrived, and they proceeded to search for her. Ten minutes later, they returned and told the Driver to proceed. I then took her purple sweater and put it back where she left. Driver assigned me to bring her flowery bag to the Glenwood station.




• 6.45pm : The air con belt broke again and the driver decided to continue driving. The tall Canadian man volunteered to push open the top ledge to allow the cool mountain air to flow in. Another mishap.... his finger got stuck by the ledge and he yupped in pain... ah....



• 8.00pm : I finally arrived at Glenwood Springs. Deposited Mdm Y's bag and started to find how to get to the hotel. Jacob my good friend was a fabulous chap. He helped the 2 Norwegian ladies (one a teacher, another a grandma who runs some big company) find their long lost friend whom they met 30years ago, just by looking up the yellow pages. Amazing. He then helped to call the hotel and I realised it was about 2 miles away. I was exhausted and there were no cabs around. Thankfully, an American boy came along and told me of the free bus service that runs into town. God bless him... good begets good. We waited for a long while but it was a good chat. (photo of me, Jacob and the 2 Norwegian ladies)




• 9:15pm : 6 hours later than planned, I am sure glad I got to motel, safely in one piece. Anxiously, I called up Vanessa and told her the story.




• 27 June- 7.25am: I just completed this entry....and was looking forward to tell my son Joshua over Skye the adventure.... til then, I am heading later for the rafting experience down Colorado River- if class 5 was the worst, maybe class 4 would be just nice for me. Sure look forward to a SAFE experience across the Shoshone Rapids and Glenwood Canyon.

Rick Warren's Purpose Driven Life

I was thinking about what my friend shared with me about how I need to start planning for my future- how I need to plan for my children's university fees which would increase annually by 6% and how it is my responsiblity to provide for my family's needs. However, I realised that much of it though in a practical sense is true, God's provision will always come in a way that we cannot fathom.

PURPOSE DRIVEN LIFE
By Paul Bradshaw
May 9 2008

Short Interview with Rick Warren, (PURPOSE DRIVEN LIFE) You will enjoy the new insights that Rick Warren has, with his wife now having cancer and him having 'wealth' from the book sales. This is an absolutely incredible short interview with Rick Warren, 'Purpose Driven Life' author and pastor of Saddleback Church in California.

In the interview by Paul Bradshaw with Rick Warren, Rick said:

People ask me, What is the purpose of life? And I respond: In a nutshell, life is preparation for eternity. We were made to last forever, and God wants us to be with Him in Heaven. One day my heart is going to stop, and that will be the end of my body-- but not the end of me. I may live 60 to 100 years on earth, but I am going to spend trillions of years in eternity. This is the warm-up act-the dress rehearsal. God wants us to practice on earth what we will do forever in eternity. We were made by God and for God, and until you figure that out, life isn't going to make sense. Life is a series of problems: Either you are in one now, you're just coming out of one, or you're getting ready to go into another one. The reason for this is that God is more interested in your character than your comfort. God is more interested in making your life holy than He is in making your life happy. We can be reasonably happy here on earth, but that's not the goal of life. The goal is to grow in character, in Christ likeness.

This past year has been the greatest year of my life but also the toughest, with my wife, Kay, getting cancer. I used to think that life was hills and valleys - you go through a dark time, then you go to the mountaintop, back and forth. I don't believe that anymore. Rather than life being hills and valleys, I believe that it's kind of like two rails on a railroad track, and at all times you have something good and something bad in your life. No matter how good things are in your life, there is always something bad that needs to be worked on. And no matter how bad things are in your life, there is always something good you can thank God for. You can focus on your purposes, or you can focus on your problems. If you focus on your problems, you're going into self-centeredness, 'which is my problem, my issues, my pain.' But one of the easiest ways to get rid of pain is to get your focus off yourself and onto God and others.

We discovered quickly that in spite of the prayers of hundreds of thousands of people, God was not going to heal Kay or make it easy for her. It has been very difficult for her, and yet God has strengthened her character, given her a ministry of helping other people, given her a testimony, drawn her closer to Him and to people. You have to learn to deal with both the good and the bad of life. Actually, sometimes learning to deal with the good is harder. For instance, this past year, all of a sudden, when the book sold 15 million copies, it made me instantly very wealthy. It also brought a lot of notoriety that I had never had to deal with before. I don't think God gives you money or notoriety for your own ego or for you to live a life of ease. So I began to ask God what He wanted me to do with this money, notoriety and influence. He gave me two different passages that helped me decide what to do, II Corinthians 9 and Psalm 72. First, in spite of all the money coming in, we would not change our lifestyle one bit. We made no major
purchases. Second, about midway through last year, I stopped taking a salary from the church. Third, we set up foundations to fund an initiative we call The Peace Plan to plant churches, equip leaders, assist the poor, care for the sick, and educate the next generation. Fourth, I added up all that the church had paid me in the 24 years since I started the church, and I gave it all back. It was liberating to be able to serve God for free.

We need to ask ourselves: Am I going to live for possessions? Popularity? Am I going to be driven by pressures? Guilt? Bitterness? Materialism? Or am I going to be driven by God's purposes (for my life)? When I get up in the morning, I sit on the side of my bed and say, God, if I don't get anything else done today, I want to know You more and love You better. God didn't put me on earth just to fulfill a to-do list. He's more interested in what I am than what I do.

That's why we're called human beings, not human doings.

Food Glorious Food...

Reported in Straits Times (May19,2008) 'People are making more money and are eager to try other tasty food,' said associate professor Chai Weizhong, who studies public nutrition at Peking University. How true indeed! Adding to the better choice of food, I think people are spending increasing amount of time deliberating on food- what to eat, where to eat, how to eat and even when to eat.

I am saying this because I am putting myself through a 3 days detox program. Started yesterday, it was such a pain that I ended up feeling so weak, all over. It doesn't help pumping in 12 tasteless capsules of 'donno-what' in the morning and evening- suppose to sustain the energy to continue in the daily affairs. What makes it worst was when my family was dining in the food court of Great World City. Joshua's left over egg prata, pasta and Vanessa's pepper hot plate were far too tantalising to my senses. I confess, I did give in. The sips of Joshua's creamy mushroom soup had never so delicious in my lifetime. I could taste the richness of the soup, the succulence of the sliced mushroom and the aroma that simply filled the buccal and nasal cavity. So sinful.

Now that Van just finished her morning prata and I am half suspecting she slipped out on pretence to buy groceries, but in my wildest imagination to buy more snacks, chendol, kwa chap, etc. While I am musing over my self-imposed hunger strike, this need go on til tomorrow. She affirmed that I am doing well, knowing how easily I give into temptation, this was a real challenge. Just as bad as the Subaru challenge.

One thing is for sure, I realised that we spend many waking hours thinking, eating, shopping and even planning for food. Now that I am on total abstinence, it suddenly felt a sense of 'lost'.